Scars are memories

Tears crawling down her cheek,

anger rises,it beings to peak,

without thinking, without warning,

it's their love that she is mourning.

 

Her sadness unleashed, much too wild,

she cries and screams just like a child,

uncontrolling, undevoting,

it's his love that she is loathing.

 

What to fix, where to start,

darkness creeps across her heart,

forever cracked, forever broken,

it's her life that he has sunken.

 

Voices constantly in her mind,

she begs them please just to be kind,

never pretty, never thin,

she lets them out on to her skin.

 

Scars are memories, her reminder,

to tell the voices they must be kinder.

she is pretty, she is thin,

she no longer lets them out on her skin.

Author's Note

please tell me what you think about this piece
thank you

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, and I think the subtle lyrical quality you've used in this is very well-done, especially considering that it's a difficult thing to get right. I'd consider maybe switching up the rhyme scheme a little - it seems somewhat simple, to be honest, but that's up to you. Well done.

[Joseph M. Shea]

Oh, my. This is more than a piece, It seems to me to be a cry for help.I maybe wrong, but I have some one in my life who use to cut her self and I never understood why. But I think I do now. The piece is well writen and seem sencere. Thanks for sharing and don't stop. Take care Joe

[oh,hey.]

this piece is no focused on me but focused around my friends and family, each stanza is a different person + thankyou for reviewing!

[Chris Newman]

It would help if you , the poet, explained how you came to write this poem in order for me to understand it better. To me it expresses what I imagine to be, some of the pain of a broken relationship which leads to anorexia.

[Emy]

so great, I've been there once, your words are really great

[oh,hey.]

thankyouu!

[spunthestars]

Very honest; the emotions are all too familiar....Very nice.

[.......]

hmm. much enjoyed this write. Has flare.

[N.S. Jones]

I enjoyed reading this. I agree with Trigorin in that your style of writing in this poem is lyrical. I could never write in rhyme like this.
The subject matter is a lot like the songs that I enjoy listening to, it actually reminds me of Linkin Park's 'Numb' and 'Everything Burns' by Anastacia and Ben Moody.
Maybe you could turn this into a song. I would love to see how that would turn out.

[KAOlmsted]

Yeah...not a HUGE fan of the rhyming poem...always seems a bit forced to me. If a piece just so happens to have some rhyme, well, right the f**k on, that is great...to make every last word rhyme with the one that came before it? No thank you. Way too much thinking, and when a poem is the product of THINKING it is no longer emotive...which, as we all know, is the essence of good--dare I say great--poetry...only my opinion ;-)

[SimpleMind]

That was entertaining! 'Tis a good write :)

[quinfinn]

i suggest that this is quite well done, and not at all ordinary. a clever write which speaks volumes to the understanding mind and needs no tweaking whatsoever. kudos....