Chapter 23: Lucas

Chapter 23

Lucas

I thought that this was it. We were so close and it was all for nothing. We should have left earlier, done things so differently. I have never been so pissed off with myself. This city belongs to the dead so this is it, game over for good.

I kick a rock by my foot in frustration. I've failed them, all of them. I look at all of their faces: Jason looks out of his mind; Elektra appears fatigued and Danny is smiling, mocking me like a child. Helene is facing the horizon with the past at her back. She's so close the edge.

“Helene, what are you doing?” I yell to her; she turns around, her cheeks have been stained with tears. She looks at me and looks back to the kids. She takes one step closer to the edge. I run as fast as I can and put my hand on her arm, trying to drag her back.

“Helene, sweetheart please, what are you doing? Helene?”

“Doing the wise thing for once. There is no reason to keep fighting, ma petit pomme de terre. Come with me. Come with me and end this.” I continue to pull her back. She fights against me.

“No. Helene, you can't leave me. We have to fight and keep fighting. I need you, the kids need you,” the tears begin to fall down my face, “please don't leave me.”

“They're coming too. It's the kindest thing to do; they will be murdered or raped or worse...they will suffer. This is the only way to be kind. You have been my partner in life, be my partner in death too. Don't make me do this alone,” she lets go of Alfie's hand and places her newly free hand on my cheek.

How can she do this? How can she even think about doing this to me? I would lose my wife and my children in one foul swoop. I won't die, I won't succumb. I have to try to keep fighting. I can't give up or lose anyone.

“Helene? Oh s**t,” Elektra says from behind me, “come back from the edge. It really doesn't have to be like this, at all. It's all right.” Helene looks at me and smiles a teary smile.

“I'm not afraid of it anymore, Lucas, but I don't want to do this alone. If you love me, don't make me do this without you by my side,” she pleads with me. Oh God, this is not possible, She can't be doing this to me after everything. She was my light in the darkness and she's choosing to abandon me when I need her most; when my world is most dark. I can't live without her, I won't. I can't do this. God, don't make me do this.

I put my hand on her cheeks. “You know I could never do this without you. A world without you is a world I don't want to think about. Please don't make me live my nightmares.”

“You should hate me for what I've done, Luke. I have only loved you when it suited me. There have been times when I have looked at you with disgust and looked at others with lust.” She looks back at Danny, who is now staring intensely at the events prevailing. “I have done bad things that you could never forgive me for. I have screwed and been screwed by Danny for years. I have loved him and hated him. I have let him touch me and then made love to you. I'm sorry. But I'm tired of the lies and the hiding. Please let's do this, together as it should be.” I stand back and try to compose myself. I am blinded by passionate tears and by the rains that have begun to spit, to expose and cleanse.

“We can talk about that later; just step back onto safe ground my love. No one has to die today. I love you and nothing can change that. Please, step back,” I beg her; my grip on her is slipping, my hands are sweating.

“I'm sorry, ma pomme de terre. I'm sorry,” she sobs as she walks back to me. I put my arms around her and press my lips against her, with all of the passion I feel, the passion of loss. Sophia begins to grizzle. I stroke her golden hair and she looks up at me, with her eyes of green glass. Alfie comes over to me and joins the group unit. I'm never going to let anything happen to them; they are the ones who matter, they're my family and I would die to protect.

“We have to find a car and make a break for it, while we have the chance,” Elektra pipes up, interrupting the moment. I catch myself and clear my throat.

“Yes, you're right. Jason, you coming with? We could probably jump start that car on the road opposite. That sound like a good plan to you?”

“Whatever you think. It seemed intact so it is possible that there is some kind of fuel in it,” Jason responds, letting go of Elektra's hand. I hadn't noticed the bodily contact between them. They're closer than I can understand which is a good thing. She'll be just fine, as long as they are together. I would trust my gobby, opinionated, stubborn sister to no one else.

I kiss Sophia's and Alfie's heads. I look at Helene and she smiles at me. I kiss her once again and begin to walk back.

It's too late by the time I realise.

Helene has grabbed hold of Alfie's hand and has run towards the edge. I watch as my wife and children fall. I watch them fall in the black abyss beneath.