A
bite. Blood projected for a single wound upon the neck. A man
falls to the floor, trying to assert pressure onto the wound but he
is too weak from blood loss. I run over to him and turn his body
to face me. This isn't him. This isn't my father. The man is
distorted and clutches at his throat where blood has painted his
front. His eyes are white and he is pale blue in colour. This is the
man who's throat I slit. The man who's life energy I poured out onto
the floor of a charred supermarket stockroom. A sickening gargle
escapes from his lips, accompanied by a waterfall of blood. He begins
to claw at me, ripping at me. I try to run but my legs won't work. He
propels himself up with such force and launches at my neck, tearing a
chunk out of it. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I jolt up.
It's just a dream. A nightmare. The same nightmare I've had every day
for the past four months. I feel a cold sweat soak my back like
Niagara Falls. I can't get the faces out of my mind. They have been
scorched into my mind because I know both of those deaths were my
fault. I killed that man in the supermarket. If I hadn't of
interfered, those undead b******s would not have got their hands on
my father. Torn the flesh from his bones. I meant what I said.
This means war.
On
the up side, none of them can blame me as much as I blame myself.
There is very little I don't blame myself for these days. Not that
they'd know. I am becoming efficient in maintaining a mask of sanity
and humanity. If only I'd stayed where I belonged. Marcus may have
had another few years; looking for a daughter he thought was dead but
he wouldn't be a mound of rotting flesh. It's no use. Regretting
everything because you know what I can do about it? Sod all. I'm not
going to bring Marcus back to life. I'm not going to get my answers.
I'm never going to be free from the knowledge I possess and...I'm
never going back.
Jason
stirs. He does that a lot I've noticed. He should not have been
forced to be lumbered with me; he's too good for me, if only he could
see that. He volunteered to go with me, the first one. I
single-handedly tore that group apart. I wanted to find the central
hive of disease activity and decimate it. Destroy those b******s. I
mean if you can find the hive, why would you not destroy it when you
have the opportunity? That's why the group split. Those who thought
it was too dangerous versus those who were suicidal enough to even
attempt it. Guess which group I was in. Jason, stupid enough to
volunteer to die for me.
I
throw my legs over the side of the table. I take a deep breathe.
Inhale. Exhale. I feel disgusting. I feel slimy. I yawn, stretching
to return the blood flow to my arms. I stand up; I feel off balance
but I keep walking until I reach the door. I look back. They won't
even know that I'm gone. I just need some air. I take caution when I
push the door handle and step outside.
The
cool air relieves the stagnant sweat staining my skin. The sun is
only just rising. Dawn. I take another deep breath and allow the
fresh air to revitalise me. The light shines on the water and
reflects to form a mirage. It's gorgeous. The great expanse of water
and the sun rising on the horizon; this is what true beauty is. This
view almost makes me forget that half the world is dead. My entire
family is dead. Mum and dad. This natural phenomenon reaffirms my
faith in nature. I love vast bodies of water that seem to go on, even
to the end of all things. I walk down the rotten wood stairs and sit
down on the pebbles that engulf the landscape. The pebbles are wet.
I'm going to have a wet arse when I get up but oh well. I lay back
and look at the sky. It's been a while since I last did this, too
long. I know I have to be strong. I know that. It's just
so...difficult sometimes. Being strong for the three of us. The
weight is crushing but I did ask for it.
Clouds
paint the sky, masking the Sun's light. Shades of red and orange seem
to collide and merge into a single palette. I hear the door open and
the sound of footsteps crashing on pebbles. I sit up and turn around.
It's Jason. S**t, he must of noticed that I'd gone. He plops himself
down next to me and yawns. “I
can see why you come out here every morning. What a view!” He
places his arm around my shoulders. I don't think he gets the hint
after all of this time but I don't rebuff his advances. The sweat has
dried on my back to be replaced with the freezing cold sea water. I'm
getting cold now; I'm sure my temperature receptors have been messed
up.
“How
do you know I come out here every morning?” I enquire, looking
forward. “You
are not as quiet as you think you are,” he states. I can see him
smiling out of the corner of my eye. He thinks he is insightful, as
if he understands what is going through my mind but I don't think
he'd want to. There's a lot of messed up stuff going on up there.
There is a moment of silence. Not the typical awkward silence that
demands to be filled but a moment of silence to appreciate our
surroundings. After a small period of time, seconds or minutes it's
difficult to tell, he turns to face me completely, “You
are still worrying about the hive, aren't you? We will find it again
eventually, we just need time to re evaluate our options.
I
promise
you, we will find it and decimate them for Marcus okay?”
He
thinks that the only thing I can think about. That bloody hive. I
mean it is there, poking at the inside of my brain, but there are
other things that take my brain power. I mean everything from the
Blackheath group to insignificant things like what I am going to do
today. I live for the day but it's difficult not to plan ahead when
you have so many things to do with such little time. Nothing is
permanent but I don't feel like I can do anything until those undead
b******s die and stay dead. I have a purpose which is always a
positive thing. I have a reason to exist which I have needed
confirmation of for years.
I
can only think of one response, “Alright.” I
am too tired to be defensive. This group is all we have, we can't
divide now. Again. I rest my head against his shoulder. He smells of
coffee and smoke, a weird combination but not entirely unpleasant I
must admit. It's moments like this that make me think of Roman. Are
we both looking at the same sunrise? Is he even thinking of me
anymore?
How
stupid does that sound? I have this gorgeous man who thinks the world
of me, is willing to die for me, and I am thinking of someone who
probably hates my guts or wouldn't give me the time of day. I am so
stupid sometimes, I swear. It will always be a disadvantage unless I
pull my head out of my arse and accept things as they really are and
I do. At least I'm trying to. That's what they all say, is it
not?
Of
course we're both looking at the same sunrise. We aren't on different
planets. We are separated by miles of road and countryside. He never
liked the sunrise. He said it was something to do with him
associating it with the time he had to wake up to go on runs. Fair
enough, I guess. Haha, I guess that's why I have always adored the
dawn. The birth of a new day; the ultimate confirmation of the
continuance of life. The syllic nature of life and nature.
Ugh,
back to reality. I had started to dribble when I jolted myself back
to the same state of semi consciousness that I had endured
beforehand. Nice. I pull myself onto my knees and push myself up. I
instinctively wipe the dust from my bum and realise that, as
predicted, the water has soaked through to the back of my thighs. It
probably looks as if I have wet myself but, you know what, screw it.
I have no dignity left and there is no use pretending that I
do.
“Where
are you going? Wait a moment,” he pulls himself to his feet and
dusts himself down too, “alright? I am going to see what is going
on with David; there was something up with him last night. We can't
afford animosities anymore.” I
swear he is just like a little puppy. Always trying to catch my
attention and...what, receive praise or recognition? I think deep
down he knows I can't give him what he desires but he is still eager
and willing to catch the metaphorical grenade for me. That's what I
am, on reflection. A grenade. Every one around me is decimated just
by my presence. I have the power over life and death, at least I have
thus far, and I am not ready to relinquish my claim on this power
just yet.
I
look back at him, “No, we can't. I have some things to take care of
first and then I will be back.” “Why
do you always have things to take care of? Anyway, I will see you
when you have taken care of those 'things',” he winks at me and
walks inside. He poses a very good question; why do I always have
things to take care of? I guess it is because I need the distraction
of multiple deliberations at one point. I need things to occupy my
mind unlike other people I can mention.
I
walk further towards the lake. It may not be as vast as the ocean but
it is more intense. To think where it started its life, deep within
the mountainous regions and it travels down an uncertain, yet
familiar path until it reaches the vast unknown. It spends its whole
life travelling down just one course, undeterred and obedient, but it
never questions anything. I mean, I know water can't speak but it
makes you think, what if it could? If something that is not alive
could question its own purpose? Maybe it does but I guess it can
never be known, or understand by the human mind. Our own purpose and
philosophies give the mind a complex existential renewal but how
would it apply to those without a mouth to articulate? I am over
thinking this far too much.
I pick up a pebble from the
ground, running my fingers over it. It has a few calluses upon it but
it is primarily rather smooth and imperfection free. I throw it into
the water. It skims across the surface, taking advantage of the body
of water's current. The ripples it leaves reach out and expand with
every ring. Vibrations on the water. I have never been in such close
proximity to lakes or rivers for such a lengthy period of time. I
could get used to this. There is something therapeutic about chucking
a stone at water.
I walk around to the front of the shack, at
least that's what I think it was. I take as much caution as I can not
to make as much noise while my feet crush pebbles left, right and
centre. The street has been victim to Mother Nature over the years
with pollution contaminated rain eroding the marble features and the
wood of the shack has faced the effects of wood rot.
I have no
idea where I'm headed. I'll recognise it when I see it, I think. I
guess I am wandering aimlessly which I do far too often these days.
There's this little old café on the corner of what used to be the
high street. A sub section of normality in this vast expanse of
death. Looking at it makes it possible to imagine what it was like
before. It has been invaded by nature, like the regiment of spite
that it is on occasion, but the exterior seems normal. It is possible
to imagine old woman sitting outside, looking out onto the street,
drinking cups of tea, in porcelain, that are slightly too sweet. I
can see them bragging about the ventures of their children and
grandchildren while taking dainty sips from the heart attack in a
cup.
John always said that the silence was a comfort. It was
preferable to the way things were before, in his world. He was lying
like he was lying about everything. I thought solitude protected me;
he convinced me of that. I yearn for an end to the perpetual silence.
Whether that means finding other people or suicide, I don't know. I
don't know about anything anymore.
I sit down on one of the
rusted chairs that sits outside. Nature. People so often
underestimate it which is their big mistake. Infection is the biggest
killer out there. It effectively and cleanly wipes out the majority
of the evolutionary Petri dish. It is difficult to see something so
simplistic as superior to the complexity of the human race, with our
machines and our bigotry. Nature doesn't lie. Nature doesn't feel
pain. Nature doesn't relent.
I notice a figure, gliding
towards me from behind the trees. Before, I may have leapt to a
defensive stance or hid, anticipating attack. Now, let the b******s
come at me. I relish in the one truth; no one can hurt me more than I
can hurt myself. No one can hate me as much as I hate myself and that
is the simple truth. Maybe getting others to hate me as much as I
hate myself is the key to not allowing those I care anything for to
die before me.
“Elektra?” David. Why have they sent him
to acquire me? They usually send Jason and ignore me for the rest of
the time. They have sent the literal Calvary. Why can't they accept
that I want space? That I need to be by myself? “How did I know
you'd be here? Don't be so predictable next time. Jason is being a
sod about it,” he coughs, “I will punch him one the next time he
doesn't keep his bird in check.” David is relatively young. He
must have been 19 or younger when everything went to crap. He still
has his looks, ruggedly good looks and a cheeky cockney charm few
possess. It's shame he's such a misogynist who thinks that all women
are property. You can imagine how he reacted to Linda claiming
leadership, then that leadership being passed to me as Marcus'
daughter. He's been through a lot but that does not condone his
sexist views. Why did they send him to find me?
“I am not
his bird,” I mutter. “Speak up dear, we ain't all got perfect
'earing. Well he's got a bone for you the size of the bloody Lake
District. Come on, group meeting,” he begins walking off, expecting
me to follow him like the little puppy he thinks the youth are.
I'm
twenty years old. I don't need to be patronised by a forty
something year old man.
The dialogue is fast-paced...I would slow down the tone a bit for the reader to absorb the feel of the entire write...as far as the way the entirety went is good...like I said that can be better...a momentary pause with commas in a lot of areas can help with that alone...a few add on words for clarity are needed in areas also...Italics would greatly help in the format...especially --- right off form the beginning of this and the areas you introduce the reader...as for the edit...I will go down the paragraphs and catch what I can...so if I miss something...then so be...good to read you...
A bite. (Italics)
Blood projected for a single wound upon the neck.
A man falls to the floor. Trying to assert pressure onto the wound, but he is too weak from blood loss.
I run over to him and turn his body to face me. This isn't him. This isn't my father. The man is distorted and clutches at his throat where blood has painted his front. His eyes are white and he is pale blue in colour. This is the man who's throat I slit. The man who's life energy I poured out onto the floor of a charred supermarket stockroom.
A sickening gargle escapes from his lips, accompanied by a waterfall of blood. He begins to claw at me, ripping at me. I try to run, but my legs won't work. He propels himself up with such force and launches at my neck, tearing a chunk out of it. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I jolt up. It's just a dream, a bad nightmare. The same nightmare, I've had every day for the past four months. I feel a cold sweat soak my back like Niagara Falls. I can't get the faces out of my mind. They have been scorched into my mind, because I know both of those deaths were my fault. I killed that man in the supermarket. If I hadn't of interfered, those undead b******s would not have got their hands on my father. Torn the flesh from his bones. I meant what I said. This means war.
On the up side, none of them can blame me as much as I blame myself. There is very little I don't blame myself for these days. Not that they'd know. I am becoming efficient in maintaining a mask of sanity and humanity. If only I'd stayed where I belonged. Marcus may have had another few years; looking for a daughter he thought was dead, but he wouldn't be a mound of rotting flesh. It's no use. Regretting everything because you know, what I can do about it? Sod all. I'm not going to bring Marcus back to life. I'm not going to get my answers. I'm never going to be free from the knowledge, I possess and...I'm never going back.
Jason stirs. He does that a lot I've noticed. He should not have been forced to be lumbered with me; he's too good for me, if only he could see that. He volunteered to go with me, the first one. I single-handed tore that group apart. I wanted to find the central hive of disease activity and decimate it. Destroy those b******s. I mean if you can find the hive, why would you not destroy it when you have the opportunity? That's why the group split. Those who thought it was too dangerous versus those who were suicidal enough to even attempt it. Guess which group I was in. Jason, stupid enough to volunteer to die for me.
I throw my legs over the side of the table. I take a deep breathe. Inhale, exhale. I feel disgusting. I feel slimy. I yawn, stretching to return the blood flow to my arms. I stand up; I feel off balance, but I keep walking until I reach the door. I look back. They won't even know that I'm gone. I just need some air. I take caution when I push the door handle and step outside.
The cool air relieves the stagnant sweat staining my skin. The sun is only just rising. Dawn. I take another deep breath and allow the fresh air to revitalise me. The light shines on the water and reflects to form a mirage. It's gorgeous. The great expanse of water and the sun rising on the horizon; this is what true beauty is.
This view almost makes me forget that half the world is dead. My entire family is dead. Mum and dad. This natural phenomenon reaffirms my faith in nature. I love vast bodies of water that seem to go on, even to the end of all things. I walk down the rotten wood stairs and sit down on the pebbles that engulf the landscape. The pebbles are wet. I'm going to have a wet arse when I get up, but oh well. I lay back and look at the sky. It's been a while since I last did this, too long. I know I have to be strong. I know that. It's just so...difficult sometimes. Being strong for the three of us. The weight is crushing, but I did ask for it.
Clouds paint the sky, masking the Sun's light. Shades of red and orange seem to collide and merge into a single palette. I hear the door open and the sound of footsteps crashing on pebbles. I sit up and turn around. It's Jason. S**t, he must of noticed that I'd gone. He plops himself down next to me and yawns.
“I can see why you come out here every morning. What a view!”
He places his arm around my shoulders. I don't think he gets the hint after all of this time, but I don't rebuff his advances. The sweat has dried on my back to be replaced with the freezing cold sea water. I'm getting cold now; I'm sure my temperature receptors have been messed up.
“How do you know, I come out here every morning?” I inquire, looking forward.
“You are not as quiet as you think you are,” he states. I can see him smiling out of the corner of my eye. He thinks he is insightful, as if he understands what is going through my mind, but I don't think he'd want to. There's a lot of messed up stuff going on up there. There is a moment of silence. Not the typical awkward silence that demands to be filled but a moment of silence to appreciate our surroundings. After a small period of time, seconds or minutes it's difficult to tell, he turns to face me completely,
“You are still worrying about the hive, aren't you? We will find it again eventually, we just need time to re evaluate our options. I promise you, we will find it and decimate them for Marcus okay?”
He thinks that the only thing I can think about. That bloody hive. I mean it is there, poking at the inside of my brain, but there are other things that take my brain power. I mean everything from the Blackheath group to insignificant things like what I am going to do today. I live for the day, but it's difficult not to plan ahead when you have so many things to do with such little time. Nothing is permanent, but I don't feel like I can do anything until those undead b******s die and stay dead. I have a purpose which is always a positive thing. I have a reason to exist, which I have needed confirmation of for years.
I can only think of one response,
“Alright.”
I am too tired to be defensive. This group is all we have, we can't divide now. Again, I rest my head against his shoulder. He smells of coffee and smoke, a weird combination, but not entirely unpleasant I must admit. It's moments like this that make me think of Roman. Are we, both looking at the same sunrise? Is he even thinking of me anymore?
How stupid does that sound? I have this gorgeous man who thinks the world of me, is willing to die for me, and I am thinking of someone who probably hates my guts or wouldn't give me the time of day. I am so stupid sometimes, I swear. It will always be a disadvantage unless I pull my head out of my arse and accept things as they really are and I do. At least I'm trying to. That's what they all say, is it not?
Of course, we're both looking at the same sunrise. We aren't on different planets. We are separated by miles of road and countryside. He never liked the sunrise. He said, it was something to do with him associating it with the time he had to wake up to go on runs. Fair enough, I guess. Ha, ha, I guess that's why I have always adored the dawn. The birth of a new day; the ultimate confirmation of the continuance of life. The syllic nature of life and nature.
Ugh, back to reality. I had started to dribble, when I jolted myself back to the same state of semi consciousness. That I had endured beforehand. Nice, I pull myself onto my knees and push myself up. I instinctively wipe the dust from my bum and realise that, as predicted, the water has soaked through to the back of my thighs. It probably looks as if I have wet myself but, you know what, screw it. I have no dignity left and there is no use pretending that I do.
“Where are you going? Wait a moment,” he pulls himself to his feet and dusts himself down too, “alright? I am going to see what is going on with David; there was something up with him last night. We can't afford animosities anymore.”
I swear he is just like a little puppy. Always trying to catch my attention and...what, receive praise or recognition? I think deep down he knows I can't give him what he desires but he is still eager and willing to catch the metaphorical grenade for me. That's what I am, on reflection. A grenade, every one around me is decimated just by my presence. I have the power over life and death, at least I have thus far, and I am not ready to relinquish my claim on this power just yet.
I look back at him, “No, we can't. I have some things to take care of first and then I will be back.”
“Why do you always have things to take care of? Anyway, I will see you when you have taken care of those 'things',” he winks at me and walks inside. He poses a very good question; why do I always have things to take care of? I guess it is because I need the distraction of multiple deliberations at one point. I need things to occupy my mind, unlike other people I can mention.
I walk further towards the lake. It may not be as vast as the ocean but it is more intense. To think where it started its life, deep within the mountainous regions and it travels down an uncertain, yet familiar path until it reaches the vast unknown. It spends its whole life traveling down just one course, undeterred and obedient, but it never questions anything. I mean, I know water can't speak but it makes you think, what if it could? If something that is not alive could question its own purpose? Maybe it does but I guess it can never be known, or understand by the human mind. Our own purpose and philosophies give the mind a complex existential renewal but how would it apply to those without a mouth to articulate? I am over thinking this far too much.
I pick up a pebble from the ground, running my fingers over it. It has a few calluses upon it but it is primarily rather smooth and imperfection free. I throw it into the water. It skims across the surface, taking advantage of the body of water's current. The ripples it leaves reach out and expand with every ring. Vibrations on the water. I have never been in such close proximity to lakes or rivers for such a lengthy period of time. I could get used to this. There is something therapeutic about chucking a stone at water.
I walk around to the front of the shack, at least that's what I think it was. I take as much caution as I can not to make as much noise while my feet crush pebbles left, right and centre. The street has been victim to Mother Nature over the years with pollution contaminated rain eroding the marble features and the wood of the shack has faced the effects of wood rot.
I have no idea, where I'm headed. I'll recognise it, when I see it, I think? I guess, I am wandering aimlessly, which I do far too often these days. There's this little old café on the corner of what used to be the high street. A sub section of normality in this vast expanse of death. Looking at it makes it possible to imagine what it was like before. It has been invaded by nature, like the regiment of spite that it is on occasion, but the exterior seems normal. It is possible to imagine old woman sitting outside, looking out onto the street, drinking cups of tea, in porcelain, that are slightly too sweet. I can see them bragging about the ventures of their children and grandchildren while taking dainty sips from the heart attack in a cup.
John always said, that the silence was a comfort. It was preferable to the way things were before, in his world. He was lying like he was lying about everything. I thought solitude protected me; he convinced me of that. I yearn for an end to the perpetual silence. Whether that means finding other people or suicide, I don't know. I don't know about anything anymore.
I sit down on one of the rusted chairs that sits outside. Nature, people so often underestimate it which is their big mistake. Infection is the biggest killer out there. It effectively and cleanly wipes out the majority of the evolutionary Petri dish. It is difficult to see something so simplistic as superior to the complexity of the human race, with our machines and our bigotry. Nature doesn't lie. Nature doesn't feel pain. Nature doesn't relent.
I notice a figure, gliding towards me from behind the trees. Before, I may have leapt to a defensive stance or hid, anticipating attack. Now, let the b******s come at me. I relish in the one truth; no one can hurt me more than I can hurt myself. No one can hate me as much as I hate myself and that is the simple truth. Maybe, getting others to hate me as much as I hate myself is the key to not allowing those I care anything for to die before me.
“Elektra?”
David, why have they sent him to acquire me? They usually send Jason and ignore me for the rest of the time. They have sent the literal Calvary. Why can't they accept that I want space? That I need to be by myself?
“How did I know you'd be here? Don't be so predictable next time. Jason is being a sod about it,” he coughs, “I will punch him one, the next time he doesn't keep his bird in check.”
David is relatively young. He must have been 19 or younger when everything went to crap. He still has his looks, ruggedly good looks and a cheeky cockney charm few possess. It's shame he's such a misogynist who thinks that all women are property. You can imagine how he reacted to Linda claiming leadership, then that leadership being passed to me as Marcus' daughter. He's been through a lot, but that does not condone his sexist views. Why did they send him to find me?
“I am not his bird,” I mutter.
“Speak up dear, we ain't all got perfect 'earing. Well, he's got a bone for you the size of the bloody Lake District. Come on, group meeting,” he begins walking off, expecting me to follow him like the little puppy he thinks the youth are.
I'm twenty years old.
I don't need to be patronised by a forty something year old man.
A amazing opening chapter.
"Nature doesn't lie. Nature doesn't feel pain. Nature doesn't relent."
I liked the story line, place and the characters. You said a lot of strong and true things in the chapter. Giving the story a feel of realness. Thank you for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote
I am a sixteen year old girl from London who loves writing. I have always loved English every since I was a little sproutlet and I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me :) more..