CONFUSION

I recently found this first real poem I had written 40+ years ago, in my mid teens. So, I hulled it out, dusted it off, revised it a little bit, and am now posting it here.

CONFUSION




Confusion began when I met a guy,
My brother thought I should know.
He said he'd never have forgotten me.
Smiling eyes began to glow.

Later, he took me for a nice long ride.
Shyness slowly slipped away.
The friendly way we talked, made me forget,
We had only met that day.

At my door, he gently bent and kissed me.
How it set my heart aglow!
Our eyes met; he asked if I loved him too.
Quite simply, I did not know.

We dated each other several days.
I felt happy as could be.
Still I did not know if I loved him so.
Heart....mind....like a swirling sea.

My tender heart, and head were still reeling,
That one warm, romantic day,
When he stopped the car on a country road,
 Passion carried us away.

I resisted him, to gain his respect.
It was him I tried to please.
But, instead of saying he understood,
He called me a cruel tease.

Feeling very hurt, shocked, and bewildered,
My tears asked why he'd say that.
He just coldly glared, and frigidly said,
"You've a built in thermostat!"

Then he quickly drove me home in silence,
With no argument nor fight.
Sped away from my house, without a word,
Or even a kiss goodnight.

After that incident, he didn't call.
Never heard from him at all.

It was so hard to pound into my head,
Sweet romance, now cold and dead.

My aching heart wonders, "Do I love him?"
Then deeper thoughts start to flow.
While a crush explodes...hot...like a nova,
True love takes longer to grow.

As I sift through the ashes, I wonder,
Why, am I tortured inside?
In my reflecting, I soon discover,
E'en strangers can hurt my pride.

He was an acquaintance of my brother.
But, so all doubt disappears;
I'd only recently met him...just felt,
Like I had known him for years.

(c)Ellen Hammond

Author's Note

Please be gentle, I was still very young and naive when I penned it.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

I really liked this ,you were just right in what you did ..but he never was
i dont know but i feel like you regret what you did ,and feel sorry..
but it was not your side to be wrong..
I dont know,but i think we should never expand on the past ,but dream of the future
This is filled with lovely feelings..
lovely write..

[Susan]

a very powrful poem.. I can idenify with it....I can feel your pain in this....another great write.

[Gheeneil]

Infatuation could be mistaken for love. Innocence would blind anyone. This reminds anyone of similar experience way back.

[Donni]

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. How we see and feel love is so different. That sweet innocence is so evident. Sweet write. Thanks for taking another look at it. I have a note book with some poems written 20 years ago, maybe I should take a look at them too! Thanks for the idea. Donni