HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD

HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD

He seemed too good to be true
And she quickly lost her head
She'd never known such passion
In a short time they were wed


But it only took a few days
To discover her groom's other side
He suddenly became very possessive
Filled with jealousy and false pride


'Why don't you just shut up
When I'm furious with you
How could you be so stupid?
Now see what you made me do!'

The next day he seemed so repentant
As he walked back through the door
He was sweet and understanding
With no sign of the rage from before


His flowers said, 'I'm sorry
It'll never happen again'
'Oh honey, please forgive me
For causing you such pain'


He looked like a naughty child
Begging for his mother's caress
She knew he'd had a rough childhood
Now he was testing her love, she'd guess


So with aching arms she held him
And assured him of her love
She thought things would be better
With the help of God above



But as years went by, his jealously grew
He even resented her love for the Lord
He felt he was all she really needed
Look at all they could afford


She tried to rationalize his behavior
Often blaming it on booze
And hid her bruises for the sake of the children
For they had too much to lose


She'd resigned herself to this treadmill
Supposing that she was quite smart
For she learned to exploit his remorse
As she built walls around her heart

 

She had begged him to seek counseling
He even went a time or two
But as soon as she mentioned some problems
His rage erupted anew


He felt her growing coldness
And knew she was drifting away
The children were getting older
How could he make her stay?


The pressures were building within him
The children were independent too
So sober, he beat their mother
Telling them, 'Now see what you made me do!'


She suddenly wanted to kill him
As she recognized that phrase
The one he had used when the beatings began
Back in their 'honeymoon' days



Then she realized what was happening
Her children were suffering too
Though she tried so hard to protect them
It was clear what she had to do


If she excused this beating
As she had done for so long
She'd be telling them it was acceptable
And that message is so very wrong


So she packed up all she could carry
Took the children and walked out the door
She had no other option
For she would kill him if he hit her once more




He doesn't know why she left him.
In the past she'd taken much more abuse
He felt he had good reasons
But there is never a justifiable excuse!


Yes, anger may grow from frustration
But there's no need to hit, kick, or shove
Violence won't solve any problems
It will just terrorize those you love


Abuse causes a lifetime of problems
And shows itself in so many ways
But whether physical, mental, sexual, or emotional
It's finally recognized, and totally unacceptable these days
 
(c)Ellen Hammond

Reviews

[Samantha Grace]

This almost made me cry. It's such a sad story and it happens everyday. Too many people just keep taking it and not saying anything.

This was an amazing poem!

"Then she realized what was happening
Her children were suffering too
Though she tried so hard to protect them
It was clear what she had to do


If she excused this beating
As she had done for so long
She'd be telling them it was acceptable
And that message is so very wrong


So she packed up all she could carry
Took the children and walked out the door
She had no other option
For she would kill him if he hit her once more"

Those have to be my favorite stanzas. It's funny how a woman will take so much and just go with the flow until it comes to her children.

All in all it tells a very melancholy yet incredibly strong story. Wonderful work!

[Baz]

Hi Ellen. Powerful stuff, I must say. When the poem started, I assumed it was to be a sweet love poem, but clearly it evolved into the life story of a poor abused wife and mother. Excellent.

[Manyfacets]

I love the way you get the message out there for others. So many women fall into the trap and live a life of misery and chaos, feeling helpless, afraid and needy. This poem should at least get them to change their circumstances. Sometimes though she can't. Here is an illustration: While working as a Human resources Mgr. I interviewed a young lady applying for a job. Here is what she Said: "I'm not looking for a job I'm trying to get away from my husband, he wants to kill me. I'm sure he is following me; I need a place to hide." My receptionist came into my office and said a gentleman was at the desk looking for his wife on an urgent matter. It was her husband. We kept him occupied in the reception area and ushered her out the back door of our building. I gave her my card and told her to find a phone and call me when she felt safe. To make a long story short: An hour later the police arrived requesting to see me. This lovely young girl jumped in front of a subway train. She had no ID on her, only my card. Abuse is terrible!

[Anita B Jacques]

well said, a great write again, your poem brings back memories thank you my friend for sharing. God bless

[Mark]

This speaks to me very personally, Ellen, as I am the son of an abusive father. I often aver that he taught me all I ever needed to know....about how NOT to treat a woman, and, Bless God, I have never struck my wife, present or former. The lines, "she learned to exploit his remorse/While building walls around her heart" speak volumes about the emotional scarring women are forced by our society to endure. Had she but known in Year One what she finally admitted in Year Twenty, that the children were watching all along, and forming their knowledge-base about what constitutes normalcy, she might have left a lot earlier.