GOODBYE

Away!  Away!

Be gone!  I say.

Come by this way no more.

 

Do you not see

Eternally

Flew quickly out the door?

 

Guess I could show

How much I know

If I was keeping score.

 

Just tell my why.

Kindly don’t lie

Like you have done before.

 

My heart is broke.

No!  It’s no joke

Our oath meant nothing more.

 

Perhaps I’ll shout,

Quietly pout,

Rant, rage, and slam the door.

 

See now my dear,

There’s much to fear.

Until I even the score.

 

Vows you did make

Were clearly fake

X-mate you’ll be for sure.

 

You cheat and lie.

Zip up your fly!

And learn to value more.

Reviews

[Unspoken poet]

goodness, so powerful and emotional...

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks for taking time to read this and post a review, Kay-T. This poem was quite different from others I have written. I call it my abecederian rant. lol

[Unspoken poet]

well it's wonderful.... much enjoyed it

[Eagle Cruagh]

This strikes me a very violent. Should read again and find out why.
It is just not where I thought you were-- very outspoken--- an honest feeling.
-- Eagle Cruagh

[Ellen Hammond]

Did you figure out why it strikes you that way? I wrote this a few years ago, but I don't remember feeling any violence when I wrote it though perhaps I was working through some anger as someone who was played for a fool and cheated on too. But I admit it is out of character for me and not really where I'm at.

[Eagle Cruagh]

I think the reason I sensed violence in your poem was not that at all.
You were probably just pissed when you wrote it.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Johnson Bobby]

very beautiful ellen strong are we when we believe we are weak but the repairs it's self

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you.

[Susie Q]

Thanks for telling it like it is. The last verse speaks volumes!

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks Susie Q. This just sort of came to me when I was try to think of a different way to write an abecederian poem to try to break my writers' block. Glad you liked it.

[Susie Q]

Sounded good to me.

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

[Valentine]

WOW, this is a new type for you. Here I am wishing for my honey back and then come across this. I almost had to chuckle..Cutely written..love Valentine

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks. It is a new type for me indeed and since I've been single for years, I'm not sure where it came from. lol Glad it made you chuckle. Did you happen to notice it is it was abecederian?

[Valentine]

Ellen just stumbled across this again and NO, I did not notice it was in abcde order. Kathie Neat write

[Sami Khalil]

"Vows you did make

Were clearly fake

X-mate you’ll be for sure.



You cheat and lie.

Zip up your fly!

And learn to value more."

A kind of rave and rant with some harsh words. Splendid...:).

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:)......................

[lMarling]

The short punchy lines make it an amusing poem. Makes the very emotional and serious subject whimsical. If that's the tone you were attempting then you did well!

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks for taking time to post a review! This poem just came to me when as I was thinking of trying another abecederian poem. Not really sure what tone I was aiming for because it often depends on the mood of the individual reader.

[lMarling]

Wow, didn't even realize it was abecederian. Wonderful!

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you! It is nice to hear that as many acrostics or 'alphabet' poems are very obvious and often contrived.