Chapter 1

Heart beats , slowly and breathlessly , through the sheets which stick to my body. Now looking back through the shards of memories , I was able to scrape into a bundle , I see that it wasn't real. I mean we all live in a perpetual state of hope ; we all think we're going to live forever. 1 in 3 people get cancer but those states don't resonate inside your head. We all know we're going to die but none of us are able to compromise that we won't live long lives ; we are paralytically drunk on the wish that we will live forever: young , healthy and with the people we love.

I remember the arguments that use to take place between my parents , I was always completely frozen to be able to attempt becoming involved. But closing my eyelids there voices become evident inside my head. It wasn't easy growing up in a little village in Devon England , cold wet and tremendously boring , every day would seem to drag out into a century ; with no brother or sister my childhood became a chore.
It's annoyingly fractured now. To think of how it got to this hard to grasp.


"Mel," my mother voice echoed of the walls.
God why did she always have to end my dreams with such abrupt dialogue.
She continued "Breakfast is ready."
Pulling myself from my sheets - they always stuck to me from the sweat I accumulate over night , I paced myself down the steps. To see her standing there in kitchen , a golden rimmed cigarette dangling from her mouth , why did she always appear so glamorous even taking part in a disgusting habit.
"You should really quit ," I announced sitting on the kitchen side, she smiled. Her red lipstick creating a beautiful luscious effect on her lips.
"You should really take it up ... S**t I shouldn't be saying that, don't tell your father 'ey," her voice was so soothe it cut through me like butter: smooth , soft , succulent butter.
I replied in a sarcastic way which me and my mother had become so accustomed to "Well , I'm only sixteen so you never know."
She placed a bowl of Cheerios before me and poured herself a cup of tea (she likes to drink tea to make herself appear more British , although she comes from Australia).
"You don't even like tea," I mocked.
"I so do ," she replied.
Her Australian accent has basically been replaced by a British one , this wasn't natural occurrence though , she had various amount of speech specialists to help the Australian accent be bread out of her.
"Hurry up, I need to drop you off at school so I can get to my appointment," and these were her last words , after that I hurried upstairs and got myself ready.
I looked around my box room , everything seemed to be undeniably in tune , everything was how it always was. Completely mind roaringly dull. Nothing had a single spect of character or personality ; it was all how my mum planned it out to be.
"Mel hurry the f**k up," she wasn't a nasty person , it's just she acted like I was her best friend forgetting me to be her daughter.
Quickly I brushed my dirty blonde hair , forcing it to become wavy and full down my shoulders , it swooped its way till just below my breasts. And then I began to accumulate various text messages.
Darien - you looked nice yesterday ;) ( what a perve ) a quick slice on the delete button meant that text had disappeared in moments
Fran-I look pretty fit today just being honest.
Mel- so do I.
God I love Fran.
Dione- God , Fran's really pissing me off lately !!! X
What a two faced b***h, another swipe across and I can't pretend that I never laid eyes on that text.
With my mums figure , and face , I could not even be dropped of at school without boys making snide remarks.
"Hey , Mrs R," Rosie shouted strutting her way over towards me. Her slim figure and small posture made me extremely jealous. I had always been an overwhelming curvy , heavy on top , sort of girl. Her long dipped dyed her was extremely long and she constantly flipped it over her shoulder blades. She had this extremely calm presence on people - and she knew exactly how to get things her own way.
"Hey Rosie ," My mum replied , while I quickly slammed the door to a close.
"Bye," I yelled.
Fran- everything's kicking off down here get your fat a*s down to the hub.

The hub was an area in this s**t hole of a school where there was chairs , sprawled in random places , and it was created as a way for us to socialise. Also a place where : b***h fights , boys could f**k around and people could genuinely just abuse the whole area.
Rosie began her usually chatty exterior "did you get the text?"
"Dione," I asked , Rosie nod was a clear signal " yeah , but I just deleted it. I don't even understand why she would fathom sending it to me and you ... Katie's one of our closets friends and it's just childish."
"Plus , she's f*****g annoying, " Rosie sniggered.
"So annoying," I mimicked.
Only entering the hub for a brief second and you could already see something was taking place , hoards of people gathered round a small space , looking into the middle. Fran was stood on a chair looking into the chaos , being one of the tallest girls in our year was never enough for her.
"I'm pissing myself," she hoped of the chair and began franticly walking over to us "Dione slept with Rachel's boyfriend and she just found out. Last night."
"S**t , she didn't know?" Rosie questioned , basically summing up that we had known about this for a week or two.
"No , it's s**t an all. But Dione deserves to be hated ," Fran explained whilst tying her hair into a short ponytail on the top of her hair. Her face looked perfectly made up , her makeup looked to be professionally undergone , and her bright electric beaming eyes looked outstanding. Her tallest compared to me and Rosie was almost not noticed.
" I feel bad for Rach , I would have told her but I didn't want to meddle," Rosie slightly grown up manner was intoxicating.
Are attention was quickly grabbed away , like a pythons electric impulse , and we were drawn back towards the centre of the hub.
"No one even likes you,"Rachel protested "your hair looks skanky you have no class, and you sleep with whoever will have you."
"God I would listen to you , but your voice is so f*****g annoying," Dione looked around the room while saying this as if looking for support "even Fran agrees your a little b***h."
Frans face was an absolute picture , the spark in her eyes powered out and her whole face went a cold shade of white , she turned to face Dione and was completely undeniably shocked.
Rosie was the first to defend Frans honour stepping forward nudging past various amounts of people "Dione don't shove other people under the bus to make yourself seem better , you are a s**t , and don't b***h the hell out of people and then turn around ask them for support." Rosie was a powerful speaker and she produced her words with incredibly fluent motion.
Rachel began to speak "Go away Rosie , go back to your little possy."
"Change my mind I do agree Dione, she is a little b***h," Fran was stood with all four of them her cocky tone made my day "you both deserve everything you get ... Both of you."
"Don't try and get her out of this Rosie,"Diones voice boomed of the walls and she was almost shouting to gain attention.
"So pathetic , both of you," Rosie announced before gaining the crowd to support her. Rosie was quite a lot of peoples favourite character , she had a mouth that could snap you in half , but she would always stick by her friends.
They both walked out of the centre they seemed to be unusually in unison with each-other- it's funny when you're in secondary school you act so much older then you are. Especially considering we were in the oldest year.
"Well," I started as we began to walk away from the drama , by know a teacher had become involved and was desperately trying to stop the up roar "that's enough to last me the whole week I think."
The day began to pass by with absolutely nothing igniting or kicking off, and although everything had seemed to spiral out of control earlier -everything was now still. It felt like a massive homoside had taken place and everyone was still piecing themselves back together.
"Before everything kicked off earlier I was going to tell you girls something,"Rosie was sat perched on the lunch table , her eyes were seeping anticipation.
"Oh this'll be good,"Hannah came by after hearing Rosies acknowledgement and sat beside me.To imagine Hannah you'd need to imagine a motherly figure , her breasts were huge , and she appeared to look like a Dutch bar maid.
"Well as a matter of a fact it is actually I was..." Rosie blurted out whilst being interrupted by Fran.
"Bet it's something to do with her and Mr Trut," Fran laughed nearly in hysterics by herself.
"Anyway," Rosie's eyes rolled through her sockets "I was going to say..."
"You shouldn't joke about that," I explained , my voice interpreting the serious manner in which I was trying to put on.
"Sorry," Frans eyes gleamed and she continued to burst into fits of laughing "I just find myself so funny sometimes you know?"
"Okay , now let's hear it," Hannah's motherly role was apparent in most situations , she also began to take up a more adult role when she became head girl.
"Thank you Hannah," Rosie smile towards Hannah was positively perfect "I was about to say ... I'm speaking to this boy."
...
I've never been a person who cared much for boys. If I am un compellingly honest they bored me ; they constantly moaned about endless amount of things (and they always seemed to cry) I know it sounds stupid - boys always crying ? , but they did... at least any boy I had ever encountered. But I constantly had to look onto all my friends carrying out endless amounts of hardcore love stories. I think the hardest thing for me is letting people in.
Rosie- What's going on? , a text message suddenly popped onto my phone.
Mel- Nothing ... , Clearly this was a definite signal - something was definitely going on.
The next second I heard the door bell ring and my mum staggered to the door (5:00 p.m and wasted -great) I knew even before they entered my room it was Rosie and Fran. They could never keep silent for barley a moment ; they constantly had to let what was going on inside there mind out.Although that's the advantage of living in a small village , it takes only a moment to get to your friends round your house.
"You don't fool me Miss Bell," Rosie appeared to pour open the door and stand in front of me.
"I thought you were with that boy," I calmly stated looking away from both of them , burying my face deep within the depths of a pillow.
"Nah, he's being a jerk. He text me saying his car had broken down and he'd have to go get it fixed, oh and then he rambled on about some collage assignment," Rosie barley even took a gulp of air in between "it stupid , I know?" Rosie sighed again.
Fran added " I guess that's the Problem with dating an eighteen year old."
I felt I needed to intrude this positively Intellectual conversation "Listen thank you guys for coming , but really nothing is going on I'm fine... But I sometimes, I just like having you guys around me," I stated , whilst standing up and grinning at both of them , they truly did mean a lot to me; they'd taken me through so much through the years. Through my dad .through my mum. And they still continued to carry me through it all. I remember the day ... No ( I'll just talk about another memory because I don't need to bring it all flooding back ) I remember when my first 'serious' boyfriend Karl broke up with me in year 10, they came round straight alway. Rosie brought a Taylor swift album , and Fran brought a jumbo tub of tissues. We just sat on the carpet me in between both their arms , like a egg being securely protected by its mother , they let me snot and cry all over there tops. The carpet felt incredibly soft within my palms ,as I gripped it with all I could; I knew that if I let go I would really let go. And all I remember is 'I know places' coming on the CD player and Fran turned to me and said "I know places we can hide," it's soppy and rom-comy I'm aware of. But sometimes you just want you life to play out like a movie. Most the time you can only but wish for a happy ending.
"Anyway , cutting out this soppy Bullshit. When can we meet him?"I chirped up sitting on the carpet where Rosie and Fran had built up camp.
"And does he have a name?" Fran asked, her makeup had been wiped off and she looked to already be half ready to fall asleep.
"He does have a name in fact," Rosie lay back on the carpet "It's Michael," she bite her lips tightly , and the flaming blood rushed straight towards this pressure.
"Not ...," I started before hearing a cackle coming straight from the throat of Fran.
"Your dating Hannah's older brother," Frans usual manner was never going to be stopped , she continued to echo the halls with her laugh , but through it I looked at Rosie face which had now turned bloodless. Her freckles were incredibly visible through this blood loss.
"Shut the front door," I stammered "Hannah's: older , smarter ... hot older brother."
"Don't say Hot," Rosie snapped "it's so cringey," she had now laid up and was almost trying to hide her face "just please don't tell Hannah."
Fran added "I guess we don't need to meet him now," Fran still seemed to keep the joke alive in her head. I could not help but join into what was taking place at this moment and I suddenly started to join in laughing at Rosie's expense. Another positive about living in a village is that everyone knows everyone's name , and there isn't a lot with identical names , in this case there was undeniably no more Michael's living in our village.
"You'd be Mrs Higgins," Fran mocked standing up and rummaging through my draw to find a suitable wedding veil. Fran then paced her way over to me and stood me up "would you care to join me in this dance," she placed the veil ( which was a white t-shirt).
"Why I would be honoured," I stated, whilst holding onto her waist and we began to promenade around the room.
"Could you guys ... Just," Rosie seemed to be becoming more irritated as the minutes went on.
"You should really be the one practicing," Fran pointed out whilst pulling Rosie onto her feet.
"Seriously you guys need to stop," Rosie began, her hands tightly began to rip away from us , like superglued flesh sticking to skin , and she was suddenly free and sitting on the bed.

Author's Note

Opinions and corrections appreciated