Chaper Nine

  No longer was anything peaceful and beautiful. It was all darkness and evil. There was no happiness as when I felt when I was with Nicholas on the balcony. There was no joy and love I felt when Angelo was at my side.

  The Notre Dame cathedral was foreboding and dark in the half light of moon. Deep gray clouds floated overhead. The river gleamed dully in the light, snaking through the canal and disappearing into the countryside. The massive structure seemed to be alive, ready to swallow anyone who crossed its path. I had tried to follow the Duke, but he was long gone. He disappeared into the darkness with Angelo. Somehow, I was led here. It was almost like an invisible rope had pulled me to this place.

  I stared at the massive towers of the bell towers. I searched for the creature of Nicholas’s story, but I saw nothing but the dull gray color of the glass window. My eyes went to the two huge wooden doors that led to the massive and holy place. The wind tugged at my clothes and ran through my loose hair, as if trying to lead me some place else. This place is dangerous. Let us leave. It whispered.

  I ignored those warnings. I walked to the doors, daring this place to try and swallow me.

  I slowly walked up the main isle.

  The grand cathedral was empty, the only light was the moon’s half-beam streaming into the huge glass stained windows, creating pools of silver light. The hard, wooden pews were empty, and the priest was nowhere in sight.

  I didn’t see any of these; the only thing my eyes laid on was the large wooden cross, with the man nailed to it.

  Mother used to teach me about him, I remembered. I always wondered why they would nail a man to wood. It seemed painful.

  I stopped before the stairs to the altar, staring up at the cross.

  I had channeled my sorrow and anger through my running. Now, I had nowhere to run and the anger boiled as the sorrow was buried under it.

  My fists clenched at my sides.

“Jesus, the one sent to save us all.” I said quietly, but with force. “God’s only son, sent to die for us. Because you loved us. I spat out the last words with venom.  “Love. You care for petty, dirty, horrible humans because you love us!”

My voice was starting to raise, my voice shaking angrily. Fury washed through me and the words ran like a river from my mouth.

 “Love! You said you love all of your creatures!” I snapped a finger in the cross’ direction.    “What love? Why are people like the Duke living lavishly while orphans and gypsies starve every night? What about my mother? What did she ever do to deserve that death? She used to pray to you every night. She went to church. Yet you still killed her!  And my father? Did you kill my father because he stopped believing in you? After you killed the love of his life!

  “What about Nicholas? Did you punish him for some evil he did? Was it so horrible that you threw him into a dirty dungeon hurt and alone? For all I know he could be dead!”

A thick, furious, and rough voice started to yell loudly and hysterically. I realized it was me. I was beyond caring.

  “And Angelo! Little Angelo! What the hell did he ever do?! He’s only a boy. A little orphan with no home and no future! He was so innocent! So why did he fall into the clutches of the Duke? WHY?! He was my little brother. He was all I had left! The only thing I had! And you took it away from me!”

  My whole body was shaking and fresh tears rolled down my eyes.

  “Was….Was it because of me? Were you punishing me? Did you kill my parents because of me? Did you hurt Nicholas because I stole to survive? Did you take Angelo away because of my evil? Are you punishing me for being the best thief in Paris? Is it because I stopped believing in you a long time ago? Is that it then? Because I sinned everyone I’ve ever loved has to pay!

  “Some God you are! You punish the innocent! You said you loved us! But where is this so called love? There is none!

  “Am I evil now God?! If I’m so evil why don’t you kill me now? Come on! Strike me down! Make me pay for what I’ve done! STRIKE ME NOW!”

  I wailed, why arms spread wide, waiting for some power to kill me.

  I crumpled to the ground, not because of anything striking me, but because of exhaustion. The fury was washed away by a new wave of agony and horrible pain.

  I tightened into a ball and sobbed. I sobbed for mother, father, Nicholas, Angelo, the ones who suffer under the Duke’s hand. I sobbed for my horrible life, for my mistakes and for all the times I took something that never belonged to me.

  I had never wanted to be the Angel of Night. I never wanted to be the best thief in Paris. I only wanted what was best for Angelo. I only want Nicholas to be alright. I only want my mother and father to be alive. I wanted my little brother, the life I lived for.

Between sobs, I quietly sang the lullaby my mother had sung to me every night when I was a little girl. When everything was perfect.

  “Sleep…my baby…dream… my dear one. Snuggle…softly…safe…and warm…Guardian angels….gather…’round  you…Nestled in…my loving arms.”

  A new sobbed ripped through my throat.

  I don’t know how long I lay on the floor, sobbing. Time had no meaning to me. I could’ve been there for hours and not have known.

  In the back of my mind, I heard soft footsteps coming closer. A priest? Or a dedicated church-goer? Who cares? Let them called the soldiers to take me away. Let them kill me, it would end all of my misery. Maybe Hell will be better than this place.

  Finally, my tears ran dry and my sobs quieted some.

  I felt someone watching me, waiting for me to quiet down.

  Dark clouds blocked out the moonlight, pitching the cathedral in black. Except the single candle.

  I sat up, shaking and my voice thick and heavy. “Well?” I snapped at the person behind me without turning to look. “Are you going to kick me out for offending your god?”

The other person was silent.

  My voice started to get stronger. “Or are you here to question him too? Perhaps you’re here to ask for more than you need.”

Still, the mystery person was silent.

  I looked up at the dark outline of the cross above me. The fury had completely washed away. It left behind a tired exhausted girl. But it also revealed something that had been buried for years. It had been buried under years of agony, guilt and pleas for a wish come true. It never existed until the night my mother’s eyes closed forever. It was never really needed until the day my father was dragged from our home. It was now strong. It was at its strongest as both my life and my love were taken from me. I whispered the words I always needed to whisper.

 “I need a miracle. Please. I just need a miracle.”

Suddenly, the candle was blown out in a sudden wind. After several seconds in the dark, the moonlight reappeared. I suddenly felt a strange calm-yet I was afraid.

I turned to look at whoever was watching me.

 

Angelo….my little brother… I saw Mama, Angelo. She was beautiful.  A beautiful Angel. She looked so happy. She told me you were alright. She said you were still alive Nicholas… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Angelo. This whole thing is my mess and yet you paid of it. Mama said I could fix this….Papa said everything would be alright….

I swear Angelo. I swear to you Nicholas. I will get you back.

No matter what it takes, I’m getting you back.

 

Reviews

[Kelley]

That was so very sad and I could see it all in my head like a movie was playing.
What will she do......?

I only found one mistake this time....smiles

"It was never really need until the day my father was dragged from our home."

should be.....

"It was never really needed until the day my father was dragged from our home."

Now who is going to help her get her man back???


Kelley