Autumnal Spell

Free verse on the blending of human emotion with nature.

Upon meeting you,
in a motley hell I am banished,
drifting on a bench under a sky of lead.
A season I became, 
the season of the fiery yellow sea,
when the leaves lie frozen seeking, 
in powderlike resplendence, 
to fade.
Transition incarnate is autumn, adorned with broken time,
neutral space for the oblique;
neither belonging to
nor conquering.
Such is reality for me in your absence.
Because 
by falling for you,
I became the fall.

© 2 months ago

Author's Note

What do you think of the structure/flow??

Reviews

[Alexanda Corrin]

Great poem! Again I love your use of imagery and the last two lines of the poem 'by falling for you, I became the fall'. I can see a few different meanings of this poem, in how Autumn follows summer so this can be seen as a love tale between fall and summer but also how this is representative of the emotions felt during lost love. How in falling for someone you can be deeply changed! I love the metaphor.

[78Jon]

Flow is off. The structure lets us know it's a poem, though it's hard to read it and get into a flow due to it being a non rhyming poem.

[daninstockholm]

it's superb! The imagery is luscious, the flow is soft as a breeze over a field of daises,, love it!

[Caitlin Rogers]

Wow, that is pretty good. The structure is nice as well and I believe it is just fine

[Elizabeth Lowell]

Thank you very much :)