Trapped

This is a short children's novel.

Every window, every door; every brick is a barrier between me and everything the sunlight touches. I'm trapped behind a twenty centimetre wall that I can never be released from.

My dad goes out to work every day and i have never been able to stand at the door and wish him a good day. I dream of feeling the blanket of grass beneath my feet and to feel the warm sun on my incredibly pale skin. I want to explain to people how I feel and most of all I want to be free. There is an invisible wire attached to my body that forces me to remain in the confinements of my home.

I heard mum and dad talking last night about my 'condition'. They think I need help and they mentioned a lady called Susan. I have attempted to talk to people before but it doesn't matter how many tricks they try to play on me, I will never walk outside.

On 23rd May 2003 I walked home with my best friend Sophie like we had been doing since we were ten years old. We were joking and laughing about Timmy putting chewing gum in Luke's hair when I dropped my jumper on the pavement. Sophie was so busy laughing at the image of the two boys scrambling around on the floor attempting to fight that she hadn't realised that I had stopped and carried on walking. She was crossing the road so I shouted for her to wait. 

I never expected her to stop in the middle of the road. I never expected a car to speed down the street. I never expected my best friend to end up lying dead in the middle of the road.

There were lots of other people around who's screams echoed through the air and ran towards Sophie to see if she was alive. I stood motionless, without breathing, then I ran. I sprinted home, to the only place in the world I knew I would be safe.

That is why I am now prisoner inside my own home, with my brian as my personal body guard. Every time I think about walking outside, to the place I once loved to play and run and laugh, I see Sophie lying there on the path between my front door and the pavement. I stopped going to school and my mum left her job to become my teacher. I don't have shackles or a special uniform, I just have an extreme phobia that makes me sweat and shake from even the thought.

I have been trapped now for five years, with the longing to go to the one place I know I will never go. The outside world dances in my dreams and beckons me to go and enjoy its wonders. Perhaps one day I will learn to overcome Sophie and one day I might be able to stand at the door and wish my dad a good day without screaming as he walks over the ghost of Sophie, sprawled on the path.