The Void of Me

My take on the insanity of the human soul... Enjoy:)

The Void Of Me

 

Voices winding down the halls

All around me

Gravity Falls

Space and Time give way

To Nothingness

Beyond the walls of my mind

I find no Peace

No Solace

Where am I?

Who am I?

What am I?

My heart could never tell

What was best for me…

Who are you now?

What do you see?

The Blackest, Coldest night

The world has Ever known

Enfolds me now

Suffocating me

With the arms of dead stars

A black hole

Stealing away all that I am

There is Nothing…

O’er the horizon

Is there light?

Is there hope?

Is there rest?

There, I wonder

Can even the Wicked find Peace?

Author's Note

I was kind of in a strange place when I wrote this, if you can't already tell, but then again I've been in a lot of strange mental places lately... Anyway, what do you think?

Reviews

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

THe slice of guiding and hands free writing leads the reader to hollow parts of the piece, well done, good read.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thank you:)

[Blackened Soul]

I like this. Kind of describes how I feel at times. A truly curious soul can never seem to find the answers that it seeks. I feel like parts of it could be expanded upon, give a more intense emotional feel to some of the questions in this piece. Overall though great writing!

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thank you as well, and may I ask where you feel could be expanded?

[Blackened Soul]

well i was thinking the part that starts with 'the blackest coldest night', maybe add a line or two there before 'there is nothing' to kind of give a fuller description, or feeling of this. that line is pretty cool and hard-hitting, kind of darkening the tone, but feels like it goes into the next part of the poem a little too quickly. a line or two more could make it a little more satisfying.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thank you so much! I'll work on that:)

[Blackened Soul]

wow nice edit. it's everything i could have hoped for and more lol

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

:) I'm so very glad you like it:)

[Rekain]

"Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked, until we close our eyes for good" - ain't no rest for the wicked by Cage the Elephant.

[Laura Storm]

I thinks it's a really good write. A couple places I had trouble where you broke a line and had to re read it to make it flow ing my head but still really good.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thanks:) May I ask which parts you had trouble with?

[Laura Storm]

Lines 4-5 and 16-17 that my just be me but that's where I stumbled slightly.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Is it better with the edit, or is it still a bit of a stumbling block for you?

[Laura Storm]

Personally the edit but like I said it could just be me. It's your piece.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Yes, but I do like to make it understandable:) It helps me improve my writing if I know what people do and don't understand about it:)

[Laura Storm]

Well in that case I'm glad I spoke up. :)

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

As am I:)