In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory I remember you

   It was a typical English day, the 21st of June 2014 and the weather was as expected. Very windy and a bit dill. It fit though. It seemed appropriate for the situation.

   It seems wrong to say that a graveyard could be beautiful, but this one was despite the weather. The amount of love and care that people put into their loved ones graves astounded me, why couldn’t my family do that? Why couldn’t we do this one last thing for her? But I suppose, we've always been like that.

   It was the 1st June 2012, the last day we had together before everything went wrong. Before my uncle lost it and my aunt had a break down. Before we lost her, my Nan. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t supposed to be her that we were going to see, but I am so glad that we did. She had cancer, what kind I couldn’t tell you, but that day was what I’ve heard called “the last good day”. She was happy, hell we all were. She was laughing at how if my Uncle had been born a girl, she would have called him Debby. We laughed so hard, she almost fell out her chair, and his brothers and sister were teasing him for hours after the laughter had died down, I guess it never occurred to them that they would have been close to being Debbie’s.

   It was 21 days later that we got the call with the bad news, she seemed so happy and full of life the last time we saw her that it didn’t seem real. It was only made worse when I found out that she had died in the morning, and I was told seven hours later, because they “didn’t want to ruin my day”. I was so angry; they shouldn’t have kept that from me. They said that my granddad saw her die, that it was peaceful. I was glad.

   The funeral was two weeks later, and it was hot. Really hot. That made it worse, everyone was so emotional and the heat became almost unbearable to sit in. when the coffin was brought out, they played Abba’s Dancing Queen and as wrong as it was, all I could see was Meryl Streep dancing on her coffin. She would have laughed at that. Soon after the tears started and I was the one too comfort my family, I was sad too, but for some reason I was the one who had to stay strong.

   

   During the eulogy, the tears became worse than before. We tried to have the ‘Debbie’ thing put in, but my uncle didn’t want it to, so the laughter was omitted. It went on for what felt like hours, but was really only about half of one.

 

   Then the worst part came, lowering the coffin to the ground. My tears had dried up.

We moved to the wake soon after, a nice little pub that served all of her favourite drinks and food, with all of her favourite people in one place. The first time ever. Funny how tragedy brings people together. But I wasn’t there, I couldn’t be. I was outside on the phone to my friends, sorry family, back home. They helped me through the wake and the pain I had kept in for a while.

    Two months later, my granddad died, the funeral was nice, but we didn’t want him cremated, he wanted to be buried with his wife. But his daughter changed that, against his will. He was kept away from her for eternity.

Now a year on we are arguing over the headstone. Finally though, it has been sorted. We all want it to be special and unique, perfectly capturing her on stone. She would be happy with our choice I believe.

Patricia June Coward

Deeply Loved

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Dearly Missed

Mother, Sister, Wife

Grandmother, Great-grandmother

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Dear Friend

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Maker of Mince Pies