Follow the light

The darkness that you follow,

the worries,anger and sorrow

will do no good and won't benefit,

yes, it will make you hollow.

The screaming souls, the weeping minds,

dominates the meek sound of the kinds.

The tears, wrath and self-obsession,

washes away the thread that binds

you with the Almighty 

No! No strand is struck slightly,

to pull you up and clean you through

and turn you holy and paint you blue

If any way out,that would be you,

It's you who should wake,who is to make,

the decision to fight and follow the light.

Author's Note

do tell me grammatical errors if any...

Reviews

[Erin Thomas]

I love the emotion in this poem! It really speaks. If you want to know the grammatical errors, make sure to end each sentence with a period. Don't be afraid to start a new thought in your poem. One example: "Yes, it will make you hollow" is a complete thought separate from the other sentences in the stanza. It is a sentence that can stand alone as a part of the stanza. The rhyming is off a little bit, but it works if you are reading it silently. For example, the last line "the decision to fight and follow the light" can be broken up into two lines to make the final point stronger.

It's you who should wake, who is to make
the decision to fight
and follow the light.

That makes it easier for the reader to see that you are forming a couplet, and it makes for a killer ending.

I love this poem! Keep writing and posting! The word choice is beautiful, and you convey the emotion beautifully. Great job!

[Elisha Chand]

thank you so much for the review :)

[Peeyush]

nice!!!

[Akshat♥]

Your first poem on this site which really attracts me..
its a kind of short story u can say ..
it is filled with lot of emotions which I liked the most:)
if u follow the light ,light will follow u
that's for sure...keep writing!! :)

[Elisha Chand]

thnku :)

[Akshat♥]

u r alwaz welcum :)

[KatDarkness]

I didn't see any grammatical errors, apart from one or two missing capitalisations at the beginnings of lines. Very nice rhyming scheme though; it all flows very well :)