Rise

Its odd how memories can affect you so much, 

Always there even if you realise it or not,

The thoughts always creep back, those feelings you tried so hard to push down and burry.

They sprout up one by one out of the blue months, years later…

Whether it’s that sinking feeling in your chest that makes you feel like something bad is going to happen.

You feel trapped like you’ll never rise up.

Questioning what’s wrong looking for answers in medical books

Unresolved issues.

How can that affect me?

The mind and body are apart, but how wrong that is.

The panic attacks come and go one second you’re making yourself pretty ready for whatever your day will bring. Positive.  

I haven’t felt this bright in so long.

I’m better, I’m better.

Then the heart starts racing something enters you head you don’t even know what it is? Guilt? Betrayal? Regret?

Each emotion as nasty as each other all or one come into your lungs making it hard to do the simplest thing as inhale.

 You get hot sticky like you’ve got a virus inside you, a sick parasite trying to tell the truth.

 Talk about it, talk about it. No.

Talking is the worst part of it all.

the humiliation the disgusting feeling you get after you’ve let yourself be vulnerable, A horrible word in itself.

You’ve bared it all dribbled every disgusting thought out.

In front of someone, others.

What will they think of you now?

It’s normal… it’s good.

If it’s good then why do I feel worse?

Why do I hate myself even more for getting it off my chest?

Why do I hit the walls and scream and suffocate into my forgiving pillow

That still doesn’t even give me the pain and satisfaction I crave

Why do I then walk around as though it never happened?

Forget I said it. Forget I said it. Forget it happened. It did not happen. I do not have these feelings. There is nothing wrong. I’m fine.

Life is simply just hard, a challenge, foolish to think it’s not.

Things go wrong, you don’t feel well.

Our bodies are not perfect so why do we think they should be?

Why do we argue, complain and wine when something goes wrong?

Why do look at all the causes find fake solutions, hide the problems with doses?

This design is no miracle; this design is a dare, a risk, a challenge.

 

Living is for the brave,

Life just a gruelling competition. 

Who can make it to the finish line?

Reviews

[Horizons]

Great poem which's filled with your nice questionings to let everybody put into the world of thoughts. For a min. even me too was lost into the poem totally and thinking "what a great piece of life raises and flatters me today and forces me thinking of the poem much in deep because it's true" It's a reality you collected and just poured into the words of beauty. Your questioning was great which's further making a poem powerful, it daily happens eventually in everyone's life, everybody thinks of it daily, everybody makes questions to the life in the mind to comes out from the problems. I felt the poem deeply from the heart even you made the piece right from the heart, i'm today glad to read such a honest heartfelt piece of life. Your title says everything about life, it tells to Rise in the life, it's not a time to sitting in a corner and thinking of the problems how to face bu Rise up and face the problems that come at every step. life's not a leave it's a tree having allot of problems to protect it from bad evils that're voicing in the air for you spoiling the life. I'm thrilled to read the piece, it's an inspiring poem i think to everyone build or grow up in the life reading this reality. Everything which's real and does inspire others you've converted into the words. Great stuff came out from you, from your heart. I enjoyed the piece. Everyone should Rise in the life as a sun daily comes up and rises in the sky, we shouldn't hide from what's real or not, we shouldn't live in the dream's life, we should face the reality and we've to move on always in the life. i've got the message you expressed. Beautiful write on Rise.