My Mythic man lives. - (Freeverse Poem)

3am this time. I'm mixing it up a little! Update - This was originally intended as a free verse poem. I've updated the title in response to criticism.

You bring me sunshine in rain,

but it's never the same

rays twice a day.

Each time a new take or way

of viewing the world, night

or day. Love is the light

you shine, and dreams

are the thoughts you beam.

Your mind is a cenote

to explore and dote,

to delve into, never to return the same

but, never less, to still return human.

There are no words or vowels

or consonants I could vow

how much I am in love

with you. You and I are woven

together through space and history,

pieced together like an unsolved mystery.

Tied by heart by ribbon and twine,

I'll forever be yours and you'll forever be mine.

Reviews

[Karen]

Beautiful poem! I love the way the poem begins. I never thought about the rays of the sun as being different than yesterday's rays, and how that would reflect the way a person makes me feel. Creative (and creativity in this field is a breath of fresh air!). I also had to look up the word "cenote" but really like the word AND the way you use it in this poem. It's great! Thank you for writing and sharing this poem with us!

[Robert Strzalko]

It's open to interpretation and I think that's a good thing. When I was reading it I wondered if it was about a specific man or perhaps different men.

[Great Aunt Astri]

What a wonderful 'spiritual' poem for a loved one! I think you have done very well with the rhyming ... not at all stilted. But in the second verse you have four interesting near rhymes. was this because the rhymes wouldn't come, or intentional? Actually I think the first verse stands very well as a complete poem in itself! It is almost as if the second verse was not necessary. Sometimes less said is more said!

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

This poem is amazing and I think your mother is it no more , if that is the case then sorry to ...It was weaved perfectly for someone who is dearest, closest and very far .

[Elinor Williams]

Thank you so much! ^-^

[eatme]

Some of the associated structure bothers me:
Sunshine and rain - like peanut butter and jelly, been done
ribbon and twine - same
and unsolved mystery for certain, which is like the universal association and a tv show.

sutures and staples
glue and roofing nails
spider silk and agave fibers

Poetry is absolutely an intellectual exercise where emotion is one of the components
For a speed reader, which I am out of necessity, - it is you see the 'large words first' and the connective tissue subconsciously.

Hit me with entwined words I have never seen before
love is the light?
68.4 million hits,
a Beverley Craven song, Moon Mullican song... Yes, great poetry, when someone else wrote it.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Eatme, I tend to agree with you about the light. 68.4 million hits!!!!!!!! I don't think even my love could survive that! (Review from Great Aunt Astri.)

[QuirkyPanda]

I really like this poem :) My only critique would be for the first stanza. I think it might be because I've been out of school for so long, but it kind of hurt my head to read it and understand its meanings. You may have your own reasons for the way the lines are broken up, but it didn't really flow that well, and I feel like it takes away from what the words are saying. Just a thought :3 Still lovely, regardless :)

[SteveB]

I really enjoyed this and there were some really great images and individual lines but for me the second stanza was so much better than the first that the piece overall suffered ofr it.
I understand you were going for a specific rhyme scheme in the first stanza but on some of the lines the breaks were artifical and made it choppy. Which is a shame because that hurt the beautiful images. Specificaly the break bertween "same" and "rays".

[Emrick]

So true, love is light but light is not love.
Lovely piece.

[Catlen]

Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing.

[Dana Alsamsam]

this is such a sweet homage to love and to this person that you talk about here! this is a type of love that so many yearn for and you've captured it well.