I Hate People

Inner thoughts of a social recluse, and a chance encounter.

I hate people.

It’s a phrase that gets me through the day, rationalizes my behavior, and maybe even conceals my own vulnerabilities. Concealing vulnerabilities which, in fact, have an annoying tendency to remind me of their existence. Perhaps it’s not people I hate, but just the way I interact with them. I can’t deny my own jealousy towards those who are blessed with charisma or even the natural ability to strike up a conversation with strangers.

I’m sure I’m not the only guy that tends to ponder his own disposition when waiting in line. In this case, I have plenty of time to do so, since the lady up front seems to be paying for her groceries entirely in pennies. I look at a rack of magazines next to where the cash registers are, and I’m quickly reminded of why I dislike pop culture so much. Nothing but dumbed down sensationalism blatantly written solely to grab attention. I look away, in fear of someone thinking I’m interested in one of them, as silly as that might sound.

As I narrowly escape the shame of being seen as a consumer of such material, I catch the eyes of a woman standing in another line to the right of me. I look away. I hate those awkward moments, where you look a person in the eye too long and don’t know whether you should give a small greeting or not, so I try to avoid that kind of situation as much as possible.

The line I’m in finally moves up a little. Hopefully, the next person uses normal currency. Without thinking, I glance over to my right, and once again I lock eyes with that woman. Can’t stand when this happens; now she's going to be wondering if I’m staring at her. I mean, she’s not bad looking, but I’m not a creep that would just stare at women in public. Even though I don’t have much luck in the romance department, I haven’t quite gotten that desperate yet. Now, out of sheer curiosity, I look over at her again. We once again briefly meet eyes. Could this be a coincidence? Or is she the one staring at me?

In an effort to prevent myself from just ogling her, I look down at my groceries. I’ve been meaning to diversify my diet more, but I find myself just getting a lot of the same stuff. I look over at the cart that the woman is pushing. The amount of food in it seems to be meant for more than one person. I don’t see a ring on her finger, but perhaps she’s already living with someone. Or, she could be a single mom. I’m not sure I’m comfortable being in a relationship with someone who has kids. I know eventually I would have to meet them, and I’m not very good with children. I can’t understand why anyone would willingly spawn such horrible creatures. This is all assuming, of course, that this person has been looking at me, and has taken an interest.

The person in front of me finishes checking out their groceries. I didn’t even notice that my turn was coming up. As I walk toward the register, I take one more glance at the cause of my inattentiveness. We don’t meet eyes again, but it looks like she’s about to pay for her things as well. As the cashier scans my items, I consider saying something to her. Perhaps it’ll turn out that she was actually attracted to me, and we hit it off. Or, I could simply get rejected again, as usual. I know It’s not good to assume that, so I decide to "carpe diem" and at least try.

I swipe my card on the scanner and start rolling my cart full of bags away from the register area. It looks as though we’ve both finished at the same time, for I see them with their own cart, walking over to me. My heart begins to speed up, and the anxiety I get in this kind of encounter kicks in. She is much closer to me now, but I find it impossible to say anything to her. Instead of stopping where I am, as I was half anticipating, she continues walking. She makes no eye contact and rolls her cart along until she’s completely past me. I don’t think this lady even noticed my existence as she went by. Probably didn’t think much of us making eye contact those few times either. I guess it was just all in my head.

I hate people.

Author's Note

Just a short story of mine. Please let me know if it's crap.

Reviews

[Ryan K. M.]

I can definitely relate since I'm rather introverted myself. I'd rather spend the whole weekend in my apartment than have to interact with the world. Kids annoy me to death in most circumstances and I can't stand people that have to make idle chat just because I'm in the same room for 2 minutes filling my water bottle.

On the technical side of things, very good structure and visualizations.

[Eliezer]

Thanks a lot for reading. Idle chat is the bane of my existence as well.

[roarke]

heh, "all is mind" of course it's all in yer head. Morphadite, troglodyte.. oh yeah, misanthrope... I keep forgetting that word. Anyway, don't stop now, this piece is just getting started.

[angel]

Not crap at all. It was an interesting...non encounter? I quite enjoyed it.
There were, however, a lot of punctuation and a few grammatical errors.Compare this with your original. That may help you to do an even better write next time.


I hate people. It’s a phrase that gets me through the day, rationalizes my behavior, and maybe even conceals my own vulnerabilities. Concealing vulnerabilities which,in fact, have a pesky tendency to remind me of their existence. Perhaps it’s not people I hate, but just the way I interact with them. I can’t deny my own jealousy towards those who are blessed with charisma or even the natural ability to strike up a conversation with strangers.



I’m sure I’m not the only guy that tends to ponder his own disposition when waiting in line. In this case, I have plenty of time to do so, since the lady up front seems to be paying for her groceries entirely in pennies. I look at a rack of magazines next to where the cash registers are, and I’m quickly reminded of why I dislike pop culture so much. Nothing but dumbed down sensationalism blatantly written solely to grab attention. I look away, in fear of someone thinking I’m interested in one of them, as silly as that might sound.



As I narrowly escape the shame of being seen as a consumer of such material, I catch the eyes of a woman standing in another line to the right of me. I look away. I hate those awkward moments, where you look a person in the eye too long, and don’t know whether you should give a small greeting or not, so I try to avoid that kind of situation as much as possible.



The line I’m in finally moves up a little. Hopefully, the next person uses normal currency. Without thinking, I glance over to my right, and once again I lock eyes with that woman. Can’t stand when this happens; now she's going to be wondering if I’m staring at her. I mean, she’s not bad looking, but I’m not a creep that would just stare at women in public. Even though I don’t have much luck in the romance department, I haven’t quite gotten that desperate yet. Now, out of sheer curiosity, I look over at her again. We once again briefly meet eyes. Could this be a coincidence? Or is she the one staring at me?



In an effort to prevent myself from just ogling her, I look down at my groceries. I’ve been meaning to diversify my diet more, but I find myself just getting a lot of the same stuff. I look over at the cart that the woman is pushing. The amount of food in it seems to be meant for more than one person. I don’t see a ring on her finger, but perhaps she’s already living with someone. Or, she could be a single mom. I’m not sure I’m comfortable being in a relationship with someone who has kids. I know eventually I would have to meet them, and I’m not very good with children. I can’t understand why anyone would willingly spawn such horrible creatures. This is all assuming, of course, that this person has been looking at me, and has taken an interest.



The person in front of me finishes checking out their groceries. I didn’t even notice that my turn was coming up. As I walk toward the register, I take one more glance at the cause of my inattentiveness. We don’t meet eyes again, but it looks like she’s about to pay for her things as well. As the cashier scans my items, I consider saying something to her. Perhaps it’ll turn out that she was actually attracted to me, and we hit it off. Or, I could simply get rejected again, as usual. I know It’s not good to assume that, so I decide to "carpe diem".and at least try.



I swipe my card on the scanner, and start rolling my cart full of bags away from the register area. It looks as though we’ve both finished at the same time, for I see her with her own cart, walking over to me. My heart begins to speed up, and the anxiety I get in this kind of encounter kicks in. She is much closer to me now, but I find it impossible to say anything to her. Instead of stopping where I am, as I was half anticipating, she continues walking. She makes no eye contact, and rolls her cart along until she’s completely past me. I don’t think this lady even noticed my existence as she went by. Probably didn’t think much of us making eye contact those few times either. I guess it was just all in my head.

I hate people.


Hope this helped.

[Eliezer]

Thanks for the edits. I made this before I started making an effort in cleaning up the grammar on what I wrote.

[angel]

You're so very welcome. Good luck with the piece. It's really good.

[BRUUUUUUUUU]

That was amazing. It perfectly describes that moment when we think something beautiful is going to happen, but then the entire moment fizzles when you realise it was a figment of your imagination

[John Kaniecki]

Paying with pennies struck me. Nice job!

[RuseInex]

definitely NOT crap, you captivated my full attention, it was as if i were you, boy we both think the same, feel the same, (at least in this situation), loved this well written story, it flowed. I think the woman acted indifferent on her way out, hoping you would make an advance, y'know, the first move, seems she was attracted to you, KEEP Writing and tag me please

[Azmain Nisak]

Really nice. It conjured a vivid image of being in a grocery store. The eye-contact thing was also quite relateable. I also like how you began and ended with the same phrase, "I hate people." Awesome stuff. Keep up the good work!