Trials of Tartarus

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Dear Moon,

You saved my life today. Not physically of course, because you are still lost to me right now. But you literally saved my life. You talked me through flying. Of course, I could attempt to explain what I mean by that, but I think that’s a story for a different time. Or never I guess. I would love to tell you about my adventures down here, if I thought that they would matter.

The thing is, they plague me enough as it is. And I just can’t continue to think about them. I know that it’s terrible to keep horrible experiences bottled up. That’s how you go psycho and why shrinks were invented. But well, no shrink would be able to help me through this.

I know what you’re going to say next, that you can help me through this. But that’s the thing Moon. You already are, in WAY more ways than you could ever possibly know.

And I don’t need you hurting anymore because of me and what I’m going through. So just know that as of right now, I’m okay. And I’m going to be fine. I’m going to come back to you my love, I can feel it in my bones.

Nothing and no one can keep me from fulfilling that promise I made you. Absolutely nothing and not one person.

Anyway, my mentor used to be a goddess, her name is Caltaya. And she’s a prisoner here, but being held in a different way than me. Her past is what binds her to these walls. Whereas it’s my future that holds me.

Together though, I have a feeling that we can get out of here. I trust her, I don’t know her that well so I’m not sure why. But I really, really trust her Moon. It’s weird. It kind of feels like I’ve known her my whole life you know?

Obviously that can’t be true, but maybe it’s because we’ve been through similar things. She was betrayed by people that she trusted and people that she loved as well. I don’t know the whole story, I was actually really pushy to get what I do know.

And I feared that I almost lost the one friend that I have down here due to that. So I’m keeping my distance from the topic of her past. Hopefully she’ll talk to me when she’s ready too. But until then all I can do is wait.

I’m so sick of waiting though. You might find that hard to believe, but I am so impatient at everything except for you and food. (notice how you were ranked before food. I have my priorities straight, I promise. Nothing will ever outrank you. Not even caramel coffee cookie cake).

I will say though, I never thought that the trials would be this hard. I kind of assumed that they would be fairly easy. Wishful thinking I suppose. Not even my dreams prepared me for how brutal they are.

But I still have hope that I’ll make it out. I have to make it out. Because if I don’t then I’d never see you again, and I can’t live with that. Dead or alive that’s for sure.

I am grateful for one thing during our stay at Tartarus, the time. I mean, I know that in the real world we have only known each other for about a week. So I’m glad that time runs faster down there, here? I still don’t really know where I am if I’m being honest. I should ask Caltaya to see if she knows.

Because those years were the best of my life, despite the fact that Tartarus should really upgrade their hotels. Maybe starting by putting some in. Five star, not those measly ones that serial killers hide out in.

They were the best because you were with me, and because I got to know you. And that’s all I’ll ever ask for in life.

Well, no, I guess I’ll ask for one more thing. But I’ll beg the universe for that if things turn out differently down here. There’s just three more trials to go. Three more and then I can come back to you.

But I know that these trials will be worse than the others. His goal is to kill me. In every single way. I can’t help but wonder sometimes if he’s going to succeed at doing that. And then I remember that I have something to fight for. You.

Love, Mutt.

P.S. Trust the sun but never the moon.