My Strange Addiction

I'm so alone

I feel this emptiness in my chest

The blood in my arm is itching to get out.

I can't wait to set it free

Even though I'm on video chat and I'm not alone

I'm cold

I'm tired

My stomach hurts from nutrition deficiency,

My throat burns from vomit, if I do decide to eat my lunch today.

My nails hurt from biting them

anxiety sucks....

BUT

OH MY F**K 

My arm is itching 

SO BAD

AND I WANT IT TO STOP.

I would love to feel it ooze out as I drag the blade across my skin

Carving word over word

of what I am

Selfish, Worthless, Lair

Fake, Phony, Stupid, A*****e 

The things that describe me.

Some people have told me, 

Some of those are self opinions.

But All the pain goes away

For just a time

Because I don't think self-mutilation is a mental disorder.

I think its an addiction.