Overdose.

While they all sleep at night I sit on the floor crying while blood rushes down my skin.

Because were suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that 

suicide isn't the answer.

Since I'm too scared to tell my parents I tell the internet praying, that these 

tests and online quizzes will tell me whats 

fucked up about myself.

The only reason I haven't done it is not only cause im afraid of the other side.

But more importantly because im such a self-absorbed curious b***h that I wanna see 

everyone I know after I die.

 I wanna know who truly suffers and who didn't care enough to shed a tear.

Its morbid and horrible I know but its my thoughts and if heaven has a t.v that I can watch people after I die sign me up.

 But, Can I still go to heaven if I kill myself? 

It's funny how when people try to talk me out of suicide they think guilt tripping me by saying

 "Think of how much people would cry over you, think of your best friend your parents your siblings" 

like that's gonna stop me. I simply reply with a short

 "I know" or "..." 

Because "I don't care" or "I hope they do"

 Is too.... Heartless...

 Am I heartless? 

Or do I want the ultimate proof?

 I want to die and then see people worry and then come back. 

maybe that means a good overdose is the answer.

Since it's not permanent.

Author's Note

Just normal 4:00am thoughts.

Reviews

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

Powerful, ha ha love the cat face paint, is that a heart on her nose. Look read my poem if you have time "Every second Dying" let me know what you think. This piece is strong, but sad, unfortunately that is where our true thought flow many times is into pieces like this. read my poem and check out my Google+ page and my YouTube links at the bottom of my poem. NEVER GIVE UP! I talk about my last suicidal moment in the end of the "dual diagnosis" video, and a lot of other good info in the "psychiatric medication" one. They are a little slow, some funny pop ups in the second, but the message is the truth. And they will get better, just like YOU WILL.
Stay Strong, u can always talk to me, i try to check everything, at LEAST once a day. I can totally relate. PS- I checked out your tumbler page too. Love the skull pointer. Nice expression of your thoughts here, but just remember " I want to die and then see people worry and then come back" THAT WILL NOT CHANGE THEM, and there are MANY people EVERYDAY that DO NOT come back. Please do not join them, this pain is temporary even though it may not seem so now. -BB

[Valkyrie Warrior]

This is beautiful and tragic at the same time.