Gregor Norris Died

Gregor Norris died one day.

One day Gregor Norris died.  The details of this man's death are really not all too important, in fact, they were kind of boring if one is to be honest.  But anyways, he died one day as said above, he had a wife and a child or two�"hard to keep track a lot of the time�"he was good to his family and they loved him.  A family such as Gregor's is becoming quite a rarity nowadays, but just being a good family man doesn't save you from death, sadly.  So there we have it.  Gregor Norris died, as said twice above.

***

Gregor looked around at his surroundings.  Everything was gray, everything except for what was right in front of him anyways.  In front of Gregor stood a desk with two chairs, and to the desk's left was a crossroads sign with many directional arrows nailed onto it.  As he moved closer to examine the sign, a voice called out to Gregor, "Hello Mr. Norris!" 

Gregor turned his attention to the desk, where there was now a man sitting on the opposite side, he wore a cyan suit, a cyan bowler, he had black hair and black eyes and looked to be a little portly.  "Hello."  Gregor said uneasily.

"Please sit down, we have a bit to discuss, and my time is limited I'm afraid."  He said.  Gregor sat down in the chair opposite of the cyan-dressed man.  "Yes, yes, I am very busy indeed as of late."  The cyan man said as Gregor sat, the man was messing with a binder full of papers and notebooks when Gregor turned his attention back to him.  There was a long silence.  "Are you aware that you are dead, Mr. Norris?"  The man said finally.

Gregor had been trying his hardest not to think about him being dead, of course, this was made hard by the surroundings.  But deep down in his head�"or rather, since he was dead, whatever he was using to think�"Gregor knew that he was dead.  "Sort of."  He said.

"That's nice.  Most people freak out when they find out."  The cyan man said.  He pulled out a few papers from his folders and put them on the table, then he pulled out a pen. 

"What's happening?"  Gregor asked.  Being dead was a very weird thing, he realized, it wasn't that much different than living if not but a little stranger.

"Well I'm an unorganized fellow, you see, so I am looking for my papers that I need you to see."  The cyan man answered.

Gregor didn't like the answer, "I mean with me.  I'm dead, so what is going to happen?"  He asked.

"We'll get to that soon enough.  Ah!  Here it is!"  He pulled out a final paper and put it on the table.  "Now we can get to business.  If you're ready, that is."

"I am."  Gregor said.

"Well, as I said, you are dead.  Very dead to be exact.  So dead, that you are indeed very not alive."  The cyan man said, his dancing around the subject was annoying Gregor.  "But you know that.  Yes, and that's good.  And, seeing how you are dead, something needs to happen with you."  He droned on.  Gregor decided that the cyan man was annoying from the way he talked.  "Seeing how something needs to happen to you, you and I are here to discuss just what is going to happen to you.  Following me so far?"

"Yes."  Gregor said. 

"Good.  You are a sharp one, I have some people that come through that can't follow what I'm saying to save their lives…"  He went silent for a second, chuckled, and continued, "That is, if they weren't dead.  But anyways, we need to put you somewhere, at one point in time we chose for the people that came through just where they went, but we've since stopped that.  So you get to choose for yourself."  He slid a paper to Gregor from across the desk, the paper somehow contained every possible choice of afterlife one could imagine. 

"As you can see, you got quite a bit to choose from.  Right there we have reincarnation."  He pointed to a spot on the list.  "Oh and right there is a popular one."  He pointed to a spot that read HEAVEN.  "Though a lot of people like being ghosts as well."

"How long do I have to make my choice?"  Gregor asked.

"As long as you need."  The cyan man said.

"But you said you were busy."  Gregor replied.

"Oh, I am, but an eternity to you is nothing for me."  The cyan man said.  "Yes, I get the joy of having millenniums fly by without me even realizing it.  Though, it is weird seeing how I am talking to you now that I think a bit past it.  Funny how relativity works."  He laughed to himself.

"Since I have a while, would you mind me asking who you are?"  Gregor asked.

"I'm just a worker bee, nothing too exciting.  I talk to dead people, file reports and papers and stuff, and then talk to some more dead people."  He said.

"So you aren't God?"  Gregor asked.

"Every single one of you that come through ask me that same damned question.  No, I am not whatever this God thing is."  The cyan man said.

"Are you all powerful?"  Gregor asked.

"The moment I open myself up to questions its always the same ones.  You dead people are boring.  Dead animals are more fun to talk to in all honesty.  Dogs never care about who I am, they simply just want some kind of doggie paradise or to be a human or something."  He paused for a second.  "Though I feel it would be a better choice for dogs to stay dogs, humans are vile things compared to dogs.  I don't know why a dog would ever want to be a human."

"You never answered my question."  Gregor said.

"If I was all powerful, do you think I would be talking to dead people?  Dead animals, maybe, but not dead people.  Come to think of it, only dead dogs.  Dead cats are way too f*****g pretentious."  The cyan man said.

"Okay then."  Gregor said, he looked back to the list of fates.  He got bored quickly and had another question he wanted to ask.  "Why do you wear such a strange suit?"

"My suit is not strange.  I like the color, so I wear it."  He said.  There was a silence. 

"Come to think of it, how am I seeing any of this if I'm dead?"  Gregor asked.

"I don't know.  I just work here.  Something about manifesting what your soul liked the most from your life or something like that.  I leave that stuff to the geeks down in maintenance." 

"So we're in a building right now?"  Gregor asked, he looked and saw only gray.

"Of course we are.  Why would we be outside?"  The cyan man said, "That'd just be weird.  Did you decide yet?"  Gregor shook his head to signify that he had not.  Gregor grew silent for a long time and the cyan man seemed to grow restless.  "You humans always have been trying to find some sort of meaning out of everything, I think I can admire that."

"What?"  Gregor said.

"Like I said, every one of you always asks the same questions, because you associate dying with some great entity or something.  Sadly, I am the only entity you run into, or one of the other workers at least, but nonetheless, you all go through one of us.  Always expecting some bearded guy in white robes, but it's always just me in my cyan."

"You aren't human?  You look it."  Gregor asked.

"Yeah, we like how you humans look.  We were all dinosaurs for some time way back when, but humans found that kind of freaky.  So company policy changed and we needed to look like humans."

"Oh."  Gregor said.

"You seem to be growing disappointed."  The cyan man said.

"I guess I am.  Like you said, we humans always look for some sort of meaning, but I guess there isn't one in something such as life."  Gregor said.

"Well, that's not true.  There is a meaning, just not the same one for everybody."

"Still kind of disappointing that all it really comes down to is some cyan insurance agent filing your death and the way you want to spend the afterlife."  Gregor said.

"No need to insult me now."  He laughed. 

"Did I choose reincarnation before?"  Gregor asked.

The cyan man looked at his files, "No, you are an original."

"So what happened before I was born?"  Gregor asked.

"I don't know."  The cyan man said.  "That's the jurisdiction of the guys on the next floor up."

"Oh."  Gregor said.

"Yeah, this place goes on for a bit.  The floor above that is something about creation or something like that.  I don't even know what's above that."  The cyan man said.

"It's funny."  Gregor said.

"What is?"  The cyan man asked.

"So much conflict and grief occurred back in the living world, well my living world, about what happens to us when we die.  All the stories involved something grand and amazing.  But all it is, is some building."

"Well, if you want grand and amazing you can always choose something that sounds grand and amazing."  The cyan man said.

"No, I think I know what I want."  Then Gregor Norris chose his fate.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Marie]

Thuis is very amusing--the way the man talks, and Gregory's reactions.
I think this sentence needs work:

"What's happening?" Gregor asked. Being dead was a very weird thing, he realized, it wasn't that much different than living if not but a little stranger.