Dead Sea

Stayed too long.
To leave you now.
Wish I was strong.
Teach me how

To fight away the dead sea.
Conquer it all.
When all the waves surround me.
I won't be scared at all, all. No I'm not going fall.

Dreamed to long
To wake up now
I dream I'm strong
I'll show you how

To dance around the dead sea.
Conquer it all.
When all the waves surround me.
I won't be scared at all -- all. No I'm not going fall.

Author's Note

I be started back writing. I hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This is a very empowering song (for indeed it seems like a song). Great imagery with a great flow and profound message. If I may, however, there shouldn't be a period at the end of the first stanza (just like there isn't in the third), and in the third, is it "I dream I'm song" or "strong"? Just wondering.
(I'd also suggest a line break after the second "all, all" (in both applicable stanzas) to enrich the aesthetic of the piece).
Well done overall!

[E.G. James]

Thank you I'll fix it