then and now

Free verse

i was back there and

i was barefoot in the cold summer sand

the beach was desolate in the night

i could feel it all surging through me

these four years

since i left my cage

the faces appearing around me

like sand ghosts whipped up by a storm

with stars as their eyes

and tides as their language

a metamorphosis occurring now but also in the past

continuously, never ending

whirling through my head, my body, and i felt like i was exploding

into star dust, millions of pieces all being me

all being what i want to be, leaving this body

for a more freer existence

scurrying away like ants on the sand

to be everything at once

and explore the world in millions of places at once

i need to be what i have been and what i dream of being

i need the people that,

like a row of tin figurines I've tied a rope in between

i drag them with me

like a veil of my past

because i am not just me

but all you who have been in my life

i cannot separate you out of me

i am made up of fragments of past lives and people which faces i have loved

i will live back and forth, like a rocking chair

there is no present for me

only everything, all the time

i am

like a balloon floating in the sky of star faces and embraces