Am I Alone?

A Story by Elder Reeve

A article I wrote about a time in my life when I felt like no one cared about me.

Feeling like I am alone is something I have fought for years. I have always been the odd one out. I never had a steady group of friends. They always had inside jokes, the people they had known since kindergarten.

I was always moving through the social pools though, never in one place long enough to really get a close friendship. After moving to the other side of the United States I can honestly say that only four of my old friends have made efforts to stay in touch with me. I don’t think many people have really been affected by my move.

I have been on a martial arts team, wrestling team, debate team, anime club, comic book club, free running group, video game teams and clubs. I have done a lot of things, but I never really stayed on any of these things because I never really felt like one of the group. I was always the one who came into the group late and didn’t get all of the little jokes or the references to past trips that everyone else understood. Even at church I was left out because I always had things going on during youth activities, or I felt left out because I wasn’t perfect like my church friends were. I just didn’t fit into anything, I didn’t belong anywhere.

I felt so alone. On top of all that I am an adopted child so I also struggled at times feeling like I really belonged with my family. I have a teddy bear that my birth mom left with me before I was adopted, there were times when I would have sworn it was my only friend in the entire world. I didn’t think even God wanted anything to do with me.

Finally I wanted someone who was real to be there with me. I didn’t want a teddy bear, or a bunch of people who wouldn’t care about my existence in a year. I wanted someone who was real and would and could be with me at all times. I realized that the only person who can actually do that is God. He was the only one capable of always being with me. So I needed to become his friend.

Well he wanted to be my friend after all! As I prayed to him I felt his presence in my heart. Whenever I wanted to hear from him I would search in the scriptures and he had answers to my questions. I wanted to talk with him, so I put prayer and scripture study together to make a full conversation. I wanted get to know him, so he spent time with me. Everything I had wanted or felt a true friend should be I found in the lord. Someone who wouldn’t abandon me, who would listen to me, who would help me with problems, who would stand up for me when others tried to hurt me. God did all of those things for me. It was nice to know that I am not alone. I am also excited to introduce you all to my best friend!