Drabble - New World, Collapse

Just 100 words of nothingness :)

Red. Blue. Green. Power. People. Money.

The world was built on those values. They were the foundation, the cement, and the support. Just as America had Democracy, the New World had those colors. Symbolism? Perhaps- but it was deep, beyond the normal comprehension of all other human beings beyond a certain stage of life.

And as another block was added, the world grew larger, but it also lost stability. I was jealous of the world though. I wanted it for my own.

So I knocked it down. I tore apart the structure. It fell. It collapsed… and my brother cried.
 

Reviews

[Patrick Callaghan]

aha! Absolutely excellent.

Im serious, for the first 96 words i was thinking this was some sort of critique of contemporary society, but congratulations on clever and successful twist!

My only qualm is the length!
I understand the 100 word goal,
but i'd love to see this expanded.
Its a great idea :)


p.s i'd also suggest changing the summary to "Just 100 words of something...ness :)" because it is anything but nothing!

-Patch

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This was very good. Congrats on your first place win

Author: Nancy Lee Shrader

[Craig Bates]

Excellent little sting in the tail! When I first read it I had to pause and just think, Hang on, and quickly re-read it. Very nice. It's set up to be very dramatic (which it is, in the world of young siblings) and then knocks aside all the impressions that it has built up. I also like the fact that it's a full story contained in a hundred words as that's perhaps the most difficult thing to do.