Punishment

It's something that randomly popped into my head a while back and I had to write it down. I'm not sure if I should actually pick it up and try to make a whole story out of it or maybe go beyond..

As he crossed the short distance separating them, he could already see the burning hatred in her eyes, her attempts on disguising it futile. It was an open secret that she disliked him anyway. Yet, when she opened her mouth, he was shocked at the anger that was heartfelt in every word and almost palpable in the air: “You little insolent...” And before she had even finished, her hand hit him across the face so hard, he heard a ringing in his ears that absorbed all sound for the next few seconds.

His hand flew up to his cheek, covering the area she had touched, unable to believe that she hadn’t even warned him as was her usual way. He was staring at her, wide-eyed, afraid of what she was capable of and fearing what she was planning on doing next. The slap he might have earned, albeit that it had turned out much more severe than he had expected, but something about her demeanour told him that it wasn’t going to be over so easily, but the question was how bad it was going to be. With all the punishments he had received so far, he knew that she very rarely left it at a simple slap and the most horrid curses anyone could come up with. However, he had never seen her this angry, something was different this time and he could not imagine what would have caused this. Especially since she seemed to have lost control of her emotions for a moment, which was unlike her. Usually, she was very precise in how she went about her daily routine of torturing those in need of punishment.

She looked him over and over again, assessing him, seemingly wondering what she could do to him that would make him more subordinate, once and for all. A devilish thought flickered behind her eyes, beneath all the hatred she so vainly tried to contain and when suddenly realisation hit him, pearls of sweat began forming on his forehead and he grew pale. She was going to lock him up in the cellar. With the rats! It was the worst punishment she could provide, for him at least. He was scared of rats, no terrified. Everything in him wanted to scream for mercy but he was resolved he was not going to beg. Not her.

As an evil look of satisfaction passed over her face in response to his reaction, he began shivering, knowing that she was enjoying every second of this torture. Her wrinkled but still strong hand grabbed his slim arm, brutally squeezing it, and began dragging him through the short corridor and down the dreaded stairs. The darkness was only highlighted by a small candle here and there; it made him want to scream, but he would not succumb and give her even more satisfaction. Silent tears were streaming down his face now and he hoped she would not notice. He cursed himself for not being strong enough to resist these childish urges, or to fight her.

When they reached the cellar door at the bottom of the stairs, the one she preferred using for punishment, she opened it wide and without so much as a glance at him, she threw him in, immediately closing the door again, leaving him in complete and utter darkness. Alone. With only the sound of the rats’ little feet scurrying across the mouldy floor, agitated by the sudden noise and movement in their territory.

This was it. He was in hell. His own personal hell.

Author's Note

Feel free to give input etc or completely rip it apart ^^

Reviews

[lark1311]

Took a break from my own writing and thought I'd check you out! I like this. It reminded me of my childhood (noooo I wasn't locked in cellars with rats!) But just the fear that you can experience over a punishment you know is coming.

My only negative would be three words in the second paragraph "most horrid curses". I couldn't get them out of my head (in an annoying way) the rest of the read. Haha. Maybe i'm just a little OCD but once I focused on them I couldn't get them out of my head. It just doesn't sound right. To me anyway.

Otherwise nice one :)

[Arrinae]

Again, very well written! The only thing I could have pointed out, already has been in a previous comment by Ruby Read.

[Ruby Read]

*Shiver* I definitely don't wanna run into HER! Good description, in the last paragraph of the second to last paragraph you put "mouldy" when it should've been "moldy", other than that I didn't find anything wrong with it. I disagree with lark 1311's comment on the phrase "most horrid curses", I think it was a good way to say it. Maybe add or rearrange things a little and it'll sound better, but I like it. Keep writing!