Childish Fears

Quick poem written for creative writing class workshop

Childish Fears

 

I dip beneath the blankets,

Pull them taught to my chin, and stare

With wide eyes across the empty room.

Toys scattered carelessly, lovingly on the floor.

The nightlight is the safe point.

Don’t let your eyes stray from that glow. 

 

I glance at the clock, waiting for the hour.

Thin hands tick closer towards the moment.

Too soon the door will cautiously creak open,

Stuttering as it catches on rusty hinges,

And my demon will creep through the opening,

Approaching my bed with terrifying calm.  

 

A silhouette against the flowered wallpaper,

Blacker even than the surrounding darkness.

Its eyes appear as nothing more than empty

Caverns in a sinister face, yet their gaze burns.

Icy fingers brush against my thigh.

Hateful fingers choke a cry in my throat. 

 

He remains only as long as necessary,

Leaving me tattered and sobbing in his wake.

My mother does not believe about my

Demon who haunts me late at night.

I wonder if it’s because he looks so different

As she leans in to kiss him in the mornings.

Reviews

[BjH]

So many good words written about this. I just wanted to say I agree with all the praise and will read more.

B

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

BRILLIANT!!! I loved the ending, and I was curious about the demon given your remarkable descriptions and vividness.

"A silhouette against the flowered wallpaper,
Blacker even than the surrounding darkness.
Its eyes appear as nothing more than empty
Caverns in a sinister face, yet their gaze burns.
Icy fingers brush against my thigh.
Hateful fingers choke a cry in my throat."

I loved this piece although it captures a story that tons of young children go through. I'm gonna have to keep my eye on you and your work! Bravo!

[Wildecat]

When I read these kind poems, they just make me angry. I dislike abuse of any kind whether it be physical or verbal. I wrote a poem called ( Just Because) the way I feel about things. Very good write about a very important topic. Well done.

[Kelley]

Ok that gave me chills.......!
Your the bomb Elandra and your mind twist in ways we may never know.
Great Write!!! Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Markymark]

OMG,

This is great writing, but very dark. A subject many cannot even fathom the thoughts of....so very sad, and so very true to many kids....very unfortunately.

Great Ink though--

Markymark

[hiralarious]

That was.. amazing.
I loved the ending, I loved the beginning, I loved the middle. Heck, I loved it all. Everything was so well described. I could feel that child's fears. And tonight, I will probably have some nightmare that involves this o_O.
But dang, great work!(:

[Deanarrlack]

I quite liked this and it brought up memories of the song's "Strange Fruit" "Independence Day" and "Gloomy Sunday" Nice work.

[Jazzy]

oh my gosh. that was amazing. i didn't expect the ending at all! this poem has all the true feelings of a scared child but the ending adds a new dimension to it! great work, i think you'll get an a in the creative writing workshop. Oh and if no one has said this to you already: welcome to the Cafe!

[Nyida Strong]

Wow! Not expecting that as an ending. I loved how this turned out, though my heart goes out to the child. I do hope that one day the child becomes the adult that is powerful enough to vanquish old demons.

N. Strong