A Moment

Describing those mindful moments we often overlook and do not take the time to be present in. This is my homage to how it feels to choose to be in the moment with an experience.

It's true that a moment is fleeting

And often leaves us bereft as it passes by

The evanescent taste

A tease for wanting more

I could choose to not witness it

Letting a thousand pieces of substance

Drift right by

But OH

If I were to take that moment

Swift as it may be

And simply breathe it in

Allowing every sense to rise

To the highest caliber it can

Pulling the significance into myself

Inhaling each portion offered

Expanding and absorbing

Being and feeling

Letting all else go

For just the briefest 

And most satisfying pause - 

Then in that heartbeat of time

My sense of awe is stretched

My pleasure unmatched 

And a seed of joy dropped

Into the memory soil of experience

And my body is given 

Something beautiful to remember.

Author's Note

I love to just write my feelings out and have not found the ways in which to structure these writings. I would appreciate some insight into how to do that and possibly what kind of poems I am writing! They will vary - the ones I share - I have some haikus and some that are more rhyming and some that are just descriptive. I am trying to find if they fit into a category or even if they need to! Thanks so much for your time and feedback :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved every word dear Elaine.
"Inhaling each portion offered
Expanding and absorbing
Being and feeling
Letting all else go"
The above lines. I loved. Once I needed love and today. I have found Salinger silent. I am trying dear Elaine. I retired in October. I am editing my work and I will seek publishing. I need poetry, like your poetry. Make my sleeping mind come alive. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Elaine]

Oh Coyote - thank you for your kind words! And how happy I am that you are going to be seeking publishing! From what I read of your work, you are going to succeed! I love how we can spur one another on in creativity. Joining this online cafe has been a great inspirtation for me to write more!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Elaine. I appreciate the kind words.

[poetgurl]

For just the briefest
And most satisfying pause -
Then in that heartbeat of time

wonderful lines here, this is a wonderful write

[Elaine]

Thank you! I love those lines too. This was an effortless and unedited piece I wrote - its special because it came unbidden and so easily, touching exactly on my experience. I love those moments in writing!!!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Elaine! :)
This was a calming read, made me take a deep breath. Haha
There is a hive of bees near where I work. I like to visit them, stand a few feet from their entrance, and watch them come and go as they work. When I first get out there, the buzzing past my ears is stressful; but after a bit, it all feels very peaceful. I think it's all a bit much for my brain, and forces it to downshift and absorb the scene with less focus on its parts. This poem gave me a similar feeling. I spend way too much of my time in fixation and hesitation. Thanks for sharing!

[Elaine]

Thanks so much for taking time to share your thoughts and also how you observe and take things in. I have been working so much on being in the moment and enjoying pieces it offers to a more fuller extent. It has positive rewards so far! Even the less than pleasant moments seem to heighten my awareness of those that invoke a positive feeling.

[Chris Shaw]

Living in the moment, really appreciating it as well. I enjoyed your lines here Elaine. I found them to be both descriptive and uplifting. First of yours I have read. Welcome to WC. All the best.

Chris

[Elaine]

Thank you Chris! I have much to learn - I've wanted to do something like this for a long time. I appreciate your welcome.

[Chris Shaw]

Look forward to reading more of you and good luck. I am very much at home on WC.

[Ken e Bujold]

nicely penned bit of free verse here Elaine. sound breaks in line and imagery is crisp and easily followed from one to the next. At this stage of your poetic experience variety and experimentation are most likely your best course of action. in time you will discover what works best for you
good luck

ken

[Elaine]

Thank you Ken. You are so right about adding experience and variety. I see similar veins running through the work I’ve done in the recent past. I want to grow outward in expression and style. I value your time and input. Many thanks!

[Ken e Bujold]

if interested drop me a private message and i can give you a few exercises to help with the expansion of finding points of view other than the I, which I should also mention, need not always be yourself, but a more universal I that the reader can inhabit as well

[Elaine]

Yes I will do that! Please know I work full time as a therapist (of all things lol), so you will see me on this site in fits and spurts. I do desire to exercise that piece in my writing since I feel I can inhabit that in my work.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Elaine 🌾

Welcome to the Café, I hope you'll like it here and stay.
Well, with your clarity and vibrant poetic voice, it's easy to tell your poetry is going to create a nice stir for your new friends and fans.
You've selected a catchy mind's-eye title, and your first two lines captivate one's attention right off, holding it 'til the penultimate and final line's gripping end.
You have so much vivid imagery and emotional timbre laid upon the page, it's difficult to choose one line to highlight over the others … still, "If I were to take that moment, Swift as it may be, And simply breathe it in" … goodness, that's quite irresistible to avoid feeling!
I could write an essay on this one alone, but not to wear my welcome thin, I'll just say that it's been a pleasure to read for you and leave a bit of my take on your stirring ability to reach out and touch.

The style/form of this piece is Free Verse, but it is unstructured. Take a look at one of my simple Free Verse pieces to see what I mean:
Beside the Pond http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1558954/
Your linebreaks are spot-on, your metaphor dances upon the page, and your poetic voice sings a song both lush 'n richly clear.

If you need a hand with poetry or navigating, etc, just drop a message.
Thank you, Elaine, for sharing your deeply felt, engaging poetry!
Happy Autumn ⁓ Richard 🍂

[Elaine]

Thank you so much for taking time to review and share your thoughts/wisdom! This is exciting to me to just read others' poems and to learn more. I truly appreciate your "education" of style/form and your invitation to reach out if needed.

[Richard🖌]

Oh, great! 😃
Then, I look forward to seeing this wonderful Free Verse piece of yours displayed beautifully in its proper form.

You're welcome, Elaine … it's been a delightful pleasure ⁓ RJ : )

[W. Barrett Munn]

I like how’s you timed this one with the slow build to the crescendo then the reached end quicker paced.

Winston