Toxicity

This describes the darkest period of my life where my twin sister struggled with depression and anorexia. Meanwhile, I struggled to love her who was very much changed by her condition.

You aver to me your fidelity: “I’d never cheat!”
I don’t doubt that; you love me as your one and only
As your life force, I can't leave, nor peel you off
Only to tend and to nourish
Till the point where you suck me empty.

You quarrelsome wife whom I refuse to live with
You won’t catch me on the roof, for I will get away.
Your love I might sense and even warm towards
But I am no filter; I don’t tolerate lukewarm
You are either in or out, 100% or nothing at all
It is not in my nature to absorb half
And keep out the other half of ugly residue

Yet all along it is I in the folly.
Rebuking the splatters on your face
While I drown in my own mawkish tears.
Me, the spoiled daughter of a noble lord and lady,
I demand that dolls obey, or I rip out their stuffings.
They ought to please the will of their hostess.

Your love is pure in flecks, muddied in others.;
Mine is the rose in the Beast’s garden
Whose thorns prick if you dare to step out of the line
Which is better, which is worse?
Which is utterly toxic?

Author's Note

Any critiques are appreciated; please just don’t criticize the content

Reviews

[AYVID N]

I would say that each love has its beauty. Love is love, with all its weaknesses or thorns. All we want is that we be loved unconditionally.
I like the assertiveness with which you write. You carry your convictions close to your heart and express yourself truly and with some very fine imagery.
I enjoyed reading this poem.

[Elaine Gao]

Thank you! I’ve never been very confident with my writing, so I’m super excited to hear other people think I’m write “assertively”. Lol

[AYVID N]

Please keep writing and sharing. You are most welcome!

[Marina]

I imagine it is difficult to co-exist with someone you love who is suffering from an illness of some sort; their mood becomes hot and cold as they struggle to deal with their affliction. That makes it hard for us to show our love, try to help them while taking some of their anger at the same time. It makes us feel undervalued when all we are trying to do is support them.
Your final two stanzas are very strong and your frustration comes through loud and clear. I enjoyed your piece, so keep writing.

[Elaine Gao]

Thanks. You put my feeling in far better words than me, but I guess that’s the beautiful chaos of poetry!