Adam and Eve

Adam and Eve after expulsion from the Garden of Eden.

I.

Fallen

Disgraced

Shamed

You lay beneath me

I watched your breath

rise and fall

amid sobs and tears

of an innocence lost.

I held you

And you cried.

A helpless, hapless being

Under my protection

You peered at me

From under a tangle of hair

Entwined with branches

Littered with leaves.

But still, you were beautiful.

 

II.

Enticed

Tricked

tempted

I was my fault we were here

My foolish, flattered mind

Weak and fragile.

My heart, shattered,

My eyes opened.

I wept

And you did to.

 You stared

Down at me

With saddened eyes.

I clung to you

For you

Were my last memory

Of what we once were,

Of what we once had,

Rocks make a hard bed.

 

III.

Still, we got what we deserved.

We are the only ones to blame.

Untrusting

Unbelieving 

Sinners

That we are. 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[kmartell]

again I agree with Emma, the one or two strong metaphors, the feeling or lying together on a rock bed brings the reader's focus right in.

also the paucity of words. the control, the insight that controls and "rides" the words as you write them, that is a gift.

[.n.]

I enjoyed this. You really captured the story well while giving individual voices to the characters. My favorite line is "Rocks make a hard bed." It is an obvious statement, but it really captures the difference in thier situation and the hardship that they must now face.