Lilly in the Tree

Working title. Working story. Unfinished, but needs critiques.

 

Blades of green grass fell to the ground as wind gently caressed them. Insects of all sorts reacted to this natural movement as if their lives were a ballet with every last detail choreographed beautifully. Birds chirped in the trees, creating the musical beats that accompanied the insects’ performances.

The wooded area was simple yet wondrous, holding thousands of creatures big, small, noisy, quiet, and loud, all living within the confines of the trees, grass and dirt. Nothing took anything it didn’t need for survival; no unnecessary deaths claimed the woods. Life was as it should have been throughout the entire world.

Lilly felt this in her entire body, knew that the wooded area had a strong sense of rightness to it. Everything worked as it should, which was more than anyone could say for her family. The thought of her parents finding her amongst the trees brought a shiver down her spine like no other. She knew exactly what they would say had they journeyed into the woods and discovered her hiding place.

Frank would take a swig from his flask and a drag from his pipe, getting ready for another scolding. Connie would threaten her with a raised hand. Both Lilly’s adopted parents would yell at her in unison, claiming that she was the devil’s child simply for seeking refuge from the chaos of an unsupporting family.

Lilly’s cheeks moistened as the tears began to fall, leaving streaks down her ruby face. She sniffled away the sobs, trying to stay strong even though the only witnesses were the insects, birds and croaking frogs in the nearby swamp. The small girl wandered through the woods, following the path her feet laid before her without fully understanding where she was going.

Trees flew by as Lilly ran quickly, ducking low branches and jumping over roots and rocks that would easily have caught her foot and tripped her, halting her hasty escape and would have likely caused a few cuts, bruises or worse. She was determined to get as far away from the house as possible before Frank and Connie decided she was not going to come crying back, apologize for being the victim, and go on pretending nothing had happened in the first place. Lilly hoped that would never happen again. They had gone too far this time.

As her sobs became few and far between, her legs stopped carrying her through the forest at top speeds, and Lilly realized she had never been as deep into the woods as she was now. Panic touched the back of her mind, but was quickly wiped away as she realized how beautiful the area was.

Lilly stood on the edge of a large clearing. Inside the clearing was a huge tree- three times wider than any surrounding the clearing but no taller -which rested on the edge of a pond. Hundreds of cattails ringed the water’s edge. Dragonflies, bees, birds, and various other creatures swooped, dived, and dipped within the slight breeze that wove its way through the clearing.

The leaves on the giant tree rustled in that same breeze, its branches weighed down with various birds including robins, blue birds, cardinals and woodpeckers. There were even a few canaries chirping along with other birds Lilly could not recognize. The entire scene was the most beautiful thing Lilly had ever witnessed, and she had a strong urge never to leave the place, for it was so perfect in her eyes.

She took a few steps into the clearing and stopped, overcome with a sense of confusion. Lilly wondered why she had never found the clearing before. She had never been as deep into the woods as she was now, but certainly an area with as much wildlife as the clearing would have been a lot more obvious to any random wanderer that came remotely close to the area. Even so, Lilly was glad she had found the place, because she needed something just like it to help the pain fade away.

For the first time in days, Lilly smiled. She walked to the water’s edge and looked into the pond and stared at her reflection, which shone clearer than she thought it would. She liked the look of herself, she hadn’t been happy in a very long time. The streaks left by her tears already seemed to be fading away, leaving no trace of her emotional run through the trees.

She sat on the bank and took her shoes off, letting the breeze weave its way through her newly exposed toes. Lilly had always loved the feeling of dipping her feet into cool water and swirling them around, making ripples which would shoot off on their own paths. She did so, shivering as the water tingled her skin as her feet broke the surface. Lilly felt safe here. It was noisy, but the sound wasn’t annoying- unlike the loud, echoing groan that constantly came from the highway, which was not far from her house- and she liked it like that.

Three tadpoles swam in the water, hovering close to Lilly’s toes. She kicked playfully at them, making them retreat to calmer waters. A bass jumped from the water near the center of the town, in search of a tasty treat in the form of some flying insect more than likely hovering too close to the hungry shadow lurking beneath. The birds kept on chirping their songs, oblivious to the new presence in the clearing.

Lilly took a deep breath, releasing all the pressures of the day as she let the air go. She removed her feet from the water, shivering as the air touched her damp legs. She crawled up the bank, searching for a dryer place, laid on her back and stared up at the sky, watching the clouds drift lazily by without a care in the world, free to be any shape they wanted.

Sometimes Lilly wished to be a cloud. They were so simple, so dreamy. They didn’t have anyone to answer to, didn’t have to feel ashamed or embarrassed for being what they were, and best of all, they inspired many minds with their millions of abstract forms. One could be anything ranging from a dog to a shark, lamp or boat, and that’s exactly why Lilly loved watching them. The view was always changing, keeping the sky fresh and exciting.

The day’s events were draining, and Lilly hadn’t noticed until it was too late. Her eyes became heavy with the burden of cloud watching, and those same white puffs that gave her enjoyment started to resemble the sheep that so commonly jumped over fences to lure people into their dreamlands. The sky became slimmer as Lilly’s eyelids drooped shut. Soon she was overcome by the darkness of sleep.

 

*                                                          *                                                          *

The room was filled with smoke, choking anyone who didn’t particularly like to inhale the fumes from the lit cigarette. The ember seemed like a sun above her as she started to shake with fear. It seemed as if the room was a furnace, heated by that single flame on the cancer stick’s tip. The room was hot, yes, but it was instead caused by a large fire within the fireplace along the far wall. Logs were stacked in a large pile and an entire can of lighter fluid had been poured on, urging the flames to consume the fuel with gusto.

This size of fire seemed dangerous to start within an interior fireplace, but that was exactly what Lilly’s parents had wanted. Ever since Connie had taken her first drag of whatever she had in her pipe, she had been acting strange. The same had been the case for Frank, and both of their drug-induced craziness had scared seven-year-old Lilly like nothing before.

She had seen thousands of movies where families seemed perfect. Money for Disney movies was the only amount- besides food, and clothes when she really needed a new outfit -Lilly’s parents would divert from their drug funds for their daughter. These movies were bought to keep Lilly busy, each movie gave ample time for Connie and Frank to sneak off and smoke whatever they had packed in their pipes that day. The movies were a baby sitter, and the only joy Lilly ever found within the confines of her home.

Those movies represented a side of humanity that was not as dark as the life Lilly had been born into, and she longed to be a part of one of those magical scripts. She wished she could be a princess in a story like Cinderella or Snow White. Even scrubbing floors or being caught in an eternal sleep seemed better than her current situation. After all, those stories all had beautiful endings where princes would sweep in on their fairytale steeds and scoop those princesses right out of their dismal lives and escort them to their new homes in giant castles, or to balls where they would spend the night dancing in utter bliss.

Instead, Lilly had to cover her head with her arms, hide under the covers and hope her father wouldn’t hit the right spot of the bed in his infuriated stupor. She cried out as the belt impacted the thin blanket. Slightly dulled by the cotton fabric but stinging all the same, the belt came down harder, then once more. Her father must have let the belt slip, as she heard something hit a small lamp on the nightstand next to the bed, knocking it over where it then shattered on the floor.

Frank grunted as he kept swinging his arm up and down, not realizing that he had nothing in his hands. Lilly was grateful for this, but expected him to find something even worse to beat down on her innocent little head. The room had many things, like fire pokers or pieces of the now broken lamp. She didn’t poke her head out from under the blanket to see if he had started the search for a more effective weapon, instead she started to sob, afraid for her life and yet certain she was in no danger of death. Her parents were drugged up, but they’d always been like that and had never done any more than give her a few bruises.

Connie called from their bedroom, more than likely finishing her latest smoke. Lilly could actually hear Frank stop whipping the blanket with his imaginary belt, lick his lips while sucking in all the excess saliva and walk off while coughing violently. Connie called again as Frank entered the hall, and he stopped, laughed and answered in some unintelligible gibberish.

Lilly lay on the couch, under her blanket, until she could hear the soft moans from down the hall. Her parents wouldn’t be bothering her while they were busy with each other, but that didn’t stop her from constantly shivering. She should have ran from the house while no one was paying attention, but where was there to go? The house was quite remote, as were all of their former homes. Night had consumed the sky, and Lilly was in no shape to deal with the horrors of the outside world on her own.

She continued to sob through the night, soaking the blanket with her tears. She wasn’t badly hurt; the blanket had absorbed some of the belt’s sting. However, she was still bruised on her left cheek and arm, where the belt had struck the most. The pain wasn’t even that great, but it was enough to keep Lilly crying until there were only embers left burning in the fireplace.

*                                                          *                                                          *

Lilly woke up sobbing, the emotions from her dream seeping into her waking life while simultaneously reminding her of everything that had happened before she fell asleep. She let herself cry for a while longer, and then slowly pulled the tears back as she sat up to study her surroundings.

It was completely dark out now, night choosing to fall while Lilly was dreaming of one of the worst nights of her life. The night frightened her, and she immediately searched her pockets for a lighter. She pulled one out of her right jean pocket. She had stolen it along with a pack of cigarettes from one of the three cartons on top of the fridge before fleeing the house. She rarely smoked, but Lilly had learned that in times of stress a cigarette or two seemed to help relax her mind. It was a bad habit, but she allowed herself only a few smokes each month. She wasn’t really bothered by the health problems or the risk of addiction; instead she found the use of cigarettes to be a bittersweet release. She was ashamed to take any pleasure in anything her parents liked.

The flame from the lighter brought sanctuary from the darkness, and it reflected in both the pond and Lilly’s eyes. She smiled as her enemy was vanquished with as simple an act as flicking her thumb. An enemy with a weakness as easy to exploit as darkness should not be feared at all, at least that’s what Lilly had told herself every night as she suffered through it without the tiniest spark to guide her way. Even with such a weak point, the night had always been one of Lilly’s biggest fears.

Gone now was the darkness, but with that relief came more fears about what she would do. The pond lay in front of her, reminding her that she was still in the clearing. Lilly let the lighter blow out for a moment and lit it again, close to her watch. It was close to 2:30 a.m. The lighter blew out in a small breeze.

When she lit it again, the flame was close to her face and a cigarette was placed between her lips. The cigarette caught almost immediately, and Lilly pulled sweet, relaxing smoke through her mouth and into her lungs. The lighter blew out once more, and the clearing all but regained total darkness as the moon broke free from its prison of clouds. The breeze and clouds signaled rain was coming, whether it would be a horrible storm or a slight drizzle, Lilly had no idea. All she knew was that she needed to find some sort of shelter, or head home.

Home was not an option; she had stormed from the house without permission, and had slept in the clearing well past curfew.

Reviews

[Tony Foss]

Looks sweet so far. I hope you go further with it. The naturalist elements in the part before the dream sequence really spoke to me. The dream, provided insight into the reason she was running from home. And, the part after the dream where she wakes up in the dark provides a look at her characters psyche. You do a good job of making the reader care for your main character as well as making the reader despise this character's foils.

As far as errors go, I only see a few mistakes in clarity. The first sentence, where you say "Blades of green grass fell to the ground as wind gently caressed them," is an example of this break in clarity. What is making the grass fall to the ground?

The only other errors I see are in semantics, and those are to be expected in a work in progress. Good job, Kauny.

Love,
Tony