Love, Lust, Fairy Tales

Have you ever been in love.? Everyone has loved something or someone, but have you ever been IN love.? Loving something/someone is having a strong attachment to them. Being IN love with someone/something i feel like is something you cant explain but you can feel. Everyones feelings are different you wont love something/ someone the same as someone else.

Imagine being so deeply inlove with someone that no matter what you cant break the ties between you guys. Crazy right.? Or maybe your asking "what do you mean no matter what". 

Everyone goes threw crazy stuff with someone their with, but you only get threw the hard times with someone that your in love with and who is in love with you. For example, fighting. Everyone fights but what you fight over and how you'll let it go is what is different. Someone you love fights with you over something dumb, your gonna fight until you get the last words. Your gonna say somethings that hurt or hit them where it counts. Now when your In love with someone you realize that the small things arnt worth fighting over and you say harsh things but you always apologize for it after. Everyone says harsh things to someone their fighting with its human nature. Someone hurts you, your going to go back at them full force. But how you react after that is what matters.

I'm thankful that i found someone i can be IN love with and whos in love with me. Even though we're not together at the moment that doesnt mean we're not in love. Heres a litte back story about us so you have a better understanding of wht i'm talking about.ive 

Back in 2015 we locked eyes for the first time, I've known OF him for a while but never got to know him. We went to the same schools in middle and high schoo but never talked. Well a year or so after high school, me and one of my friends (that i'm no longer in contact with) were hanging out and decided to invite some people over. We sat there puzzled for a while not knowing who to invite. We wanted to have fun but not anything to crazy. But being 19yo our group of friends really didnt know how to not be crazy haha.

So we were going down her facebook friends and was just seeing who was online. She scrolled across his profile, she instantly asked what about him, and continued to tell me that she hasnt hung out with him in a long time. I didnt know him so i was kind of in the middle but i ended up saying okay cause you know, what could go wrong.? So she messaged him was telling him that he should come over, he said he was hanging out with one of his friends. PERFECT.! Two people to hang out with so we're not bored. Well thats how she thought anyways. I already knew what her plans for the night where with him by the hints she was throwing out. Asking if he could stay the night and she was like one of my best friends so of course she told me what she wanted from him really. I wasnt feeling his friend so she asked him if he could come over alone, because i didnt want to make it awkward having two guys i didnt know at my house while me and her where drinking. (responsable thinking ya know.?) Well he said he was going to hang out with his friend a little longer and when he went home he'd let us know when he gets home so we could go get him. 

So she got all cute and i didnt have anyone to hang with so i just threw something on. Baige pants with a black stripped tank top and a jacket with my hair in a messy bun. I figured how'd that night would go was i'd go get him bring him over, they do their thing and him leave in the morning or whatever they had planned. A couple hours go by no word from him yet, i start telling her hes not coming over might as well just forget it. She was so sure he was going to write her soon and let her know that he was ready.After a couple hours pass i start getting annoyed cause i could of been doing something else, but she had me waiting on him. But i would of done anything for her so i stuck waiting with her. FINALLY at i think 11:30 he finally messaged her saying he fell asleep when he got home but if we still wanted to hang out to come get him now. So she jumped right on that. My daughter was only a couple months over 1yo. So i got her up and we went and got him.

He gets in the backseat and first thing he says is "is this your little sister" i couldnt help but laugh just because of how much my daughter looks like me. But i informed him that no thats my daughter and laughed it off as i was backing out the drive way. He started rubbing my shoulders which was kinda weird for me seeing as i went and got him for my friend. The whole way back to my house he kept talking about how beautiful my daughter is, and he kept commenting on her eyes. Which is nothing knew to me. Shes mixed and has hazle green eyes. After a couple times of commenting her he ask me, in the most serious way ever.!! "Can i donate my sperm to you so you can give me a baby with green eyes" I couldnt help but laugh. I laughed pretty hard at that.

On the way home i stopped by my friend matthews house and asked him if he wanted to come hang out with me while my friend and this guy did their thing.

 I didnt want to be chilling by myself while they do their thing. I would of felt awkward. He said he couldnt he was busy playing his game. Which was fine i figured id just go home and go to sleep. We get to my house and they go straight to the couch and start drinking an talking. i was standing in the kitchen doing my own thing on my phone. (trying to look occupied i was really just going threw the pictures i had on my phone) He called me over to him told me to come sit and talk to them, so i walked over there but with them sitting on a small couch i wasnt trying to be all up on them haha. Thats when he made his move, He told me to sit down and pulled me on his lap. As much as that felt right i felt wrong. He was here for  my friend not me. So i got up and headed back to the kitchen where my drink was. Minding my own buisness. Then he came over and she followed behind him, started chatting it up again and i got up out my chair i was in (when ya get a little buzz going ya can never sit still) .  Some how we got on the subject of doing the nastyyyy (yes sex), and he went from verbally explaining to me and her how he likes to do it physically. He picked me up with his hands under my thighs and sat me on the counter with him between my legs. I was quick to jump down. At this point i'm starting to feel her get aggrivated. Which i understood. The night went on, matthew came over just to say whats up, i infromed him about what happened he said that it seemed like the guy was into me but i felt bad cause he wasnt here for me. Matthew left and the guys brother an cousin came and them and my friend went in the back room smoked for a little and then the brother and cousin left. While they were in the back this guy was telling me that i'm cute and just being flirty, i was being kinda quiet. Fast forward a couple hours later, we're getting ready for bed. he said he was spending the night with us so i showed him to the guest room and told him he could sleep in there instead of the couch.

My friend came in and layed in the bed with me. (in my room just a note) but she started telling me about how hes actin like he likes me and how if i wanted him to go for him.after askng a millions of times  and her saying she doesnt care a million times i figured i'd shoot my shot in the morning.Thats when a knock came on my door, it was him. He asked me if i could come talk to him cause hes not tired and need someone to talk to. So me being dumb and not getting what he said i agreed. I went to walk out to the living room ya know to sit on the couch and talk. But he pulled me to the guest room. I sat on the edge of the bed and yea i'm pretty sure you know where that went from there. (i know it sounds bad but i was single for a whole year and a half he was the first guy i had talked to or came in contact with after me and my daughters father split) After that was over we were cuddling, ya know where wer're on our sides my back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and said something i'd never forget. "i'll never let you go" I smiled because something about him felt right everything felt right. I dozed off and i assume he did too, i woke up a couple hours later and his grip around me had loosened. So i took this as my chance to turn towards him. I guess i spooked him when i did cause he jumped awake and said "i let go i'm sorry i'll never let go again" and kissed me and fell back asleep. He moved in the next day (his idea) and to this day we havent separated. We've been togehter for almost 4 years. Currently broken up but we are still together. Like we still show love and affection to each other and we do everything together. Its like we're together without the title. Hopefully one day we'll be back together like offically but for now i'm fine with where we're at .

Author's Note

This chapter is basically just giving you some backround into how me and the father of my kids / the man i love got started. Hope you enjoy.