From now 'till present.

A Story by Effell

The pressure is rising, rapidly. I’ve been standing still for too long, I cannot occupy this spot any longer. If I don’t move, I will cease to exist.

The fear of the unknown is paralyzing. What will be? What will happen? These are all questions tormenting my conciseness as I plan my next move. My vital move, which sole purpose is to relive me from the constant pressure of standing still, yet no destination offering ease seems to be in sight.

Truthfully believing forward is the only direction worth traveling makes it an unbearable sacrifice moving backwards. But can an unbearable sacrifice be less unbearable than the battles that lies ahead? If I could go back to the times that once were, where hopes and dreams all seemed to be in reach whilst standing put at my current location I might be able to gather the strength needed to battle what lies ahead. It might give me the strength to handle the unforeseen, break out of this paralysis which through the fear of the unknown have successfully occupied every cell of my being.

But no, time travel is not an option. I have tried standing still and let time go on without me but somehow I seem to be stuck with it, as if stuck to the side corner of this sticky beast that is the ever changing present. Time is keeping me in the dark. My lack of contribution to the present have led me into a corner without a view.

To change this I must stop time, the present and myself form letting me play the role of a victim. I must reach out into the dark, grab a hold of anything my hands might reach, gather all my strength and pull as if my life depends on it. I must crawl my way out of this darkened corner without a view, through the fearsome darkness where nothing and everything awaits, where everything and nothing will happen, where my fears have the opportunity to flourish to their fullest potential.

I must make myself blind if I am ever to reach a point where I can truly see.