Seconds to this moment

time stood still for me it never froze unwillingly unmoving past is cruel dishonour for time is vulgar ritual -Dedicated to Raven

time is an incorrigible machine  

relentless designs in the making 

I've just got to know where I'm standing 

its unshakable but within 

I'm a very feeble thing 

brooding brooding 

get me out of this thing 

washed away by the coincidence 

opportunity that never makes sense 

eating into my existence 

rapid breathing was a ritual in the past 

rapid breathing was a ritual in the past 

it's just the edge of occurrence 

precincts of prevalence

up ahead is incidence constantly new rituals

every moment just tastes staler 

oh hear me it's the coming of disaster 

oh hold me it's the birth of a whole new order 

pray the wheels for mercy 

to grind on or pause 

it's a coffin of opportunity 

harness or mourn the loss

gritted teeth and clenched fists 

senses dire and a quick prayer 

waiting for the electrons in the wire 

rapid breathing was a ritual of the past 

Author's Note

this poem dawned on me seconds before I started writing it

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

Interesting and intelligent piece you have here. It deserves to be read slowly to soak in all the meanings. What I get from this is a disdain for current "unconsciousness" by our kind but then fretting over what is to come. It makes you think...if it's so bad now what's on the horizon. "its a coffin of opportunity
gritted teeth and clenched fists"

I like the repetition of "rapid breathing was a ritual of the past". A ritual for what I wonder? An ecstatic expression...a way to tap into something greater to foresee what's coming?

Very thoughtful piece.

[Dushyant Thadani]

Wow this work has definitely crated a huge effect on me. What a superb work, so very descriptive, so very beautiful and so very enchanting, that makes my heart warm with every single word I read. If I could I would ask you to give me one thing, Please Give Me Your Inspiration

[Effector Prime]

It's yours my friend :) I would love to give it to you in exchange for your noble mind

[Effector Prime]

what use then is inspiration without a mind you ask? BAHA! gimme a copy at least mate :)

[Dushyant Thadani]

LOL you can always check out my profile mate... you are more than welcome to do so... Hope you are doing well too :)

[Effector Prime]

never felt better :)

[Marie Harrison]

Very cynical view of time and life. Great job!

[sarah]

amazing the only word that can discribe this!

[Effector Prime]

cheers!!!!

[Alice.Valkyrie]

Absolutely wonderful! Time...it ticks faster for me lately...not such the friend it used to be.

[Effector Prime]

it will come around :) and thank you :)

[Goodbye]

WOW!!! This is just an absolutely gorgeous poem! So very well constructed - real movement in the words.

This is going into my favs!

[Effector Prime]

Thank you for your kind words my friend :)

[Misty Blue Eyes]

great poem

[Effector Prime]

Cheers! :)

[Linear]

Have you got time on those hands of yours, is your breathing perhaps to rapid? do you really know whats in store, will time truely keep the score?

Well enjoyed

[Effector Prime]

lovely.. thank you :)

[Wondering Mind]

thought provoking, for sure..A discussion on Time will take all time

[Effector Prime]

:) Indeed :) thank you :)

[Charles]

Time is a complex notion and does hold most of us in its grip. This poem says that very well. There is a hint of the upcoming repetition in the very title and the repetition, when it comes, is effective. I don't know whether the reversal of 'the thing' being within the speaker at first and then the speaker being within 'the thing' was purposeful, but it does echo the theme of reversal and maybe even repetition. A few technical notes: I think I'd eliminate the word 'the' in line 8 to make 'coincidence' a more general notion, and there may be a typo (i'v) and missing apostrophe in both 'its' - I don't always mention this since some poets tend to disregard apostrophes for effect, but the apostrophe does appear elsewhere, so I wonder... Nice job on this 'timely' piece.

[Effector Prime]

Let's just say that it all just fell in place :) and yeah mistakes mistakes were made :)