What should i do?

What should i do?

A Poem by Brittney

  • What should i do?

  • Where do i go from here?

  • This is so confusing

  • No room to breathe

  • No space to move

  • Always in pain

  • Can't get comfterable

  • No sleep

  • I'm so tired of this

  • So what should i do?

  • Where do i go from here?

© 2008 Brittney


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For me this is the strongest of your poems. The feeling of confusion and claustrophobia within your own thoughts and pain is clearly expressed. And I like that it has a structure to it, with the use of the repetition to reinforce those questions. Your poems all read like a series of thoughts - which makes sense as you say you usually write to take away your stress, so it is somewhat of a therapy for you. I think that's true for many writers. I'd say that bullet points are unnecessary though, unless you have a particular reason for using them that I just haven't picked up on. They make it seem more like a list than a poem - occasional use could be effective but I notice you use them in all of the poems on here. Do you always write this way or just on what you have posted? I would be interested to know your writing influences. My advice, should you want it, is to keep reading, writing your thoughts and experimenting with different structures and form. Personally I am a sucker for imagery. Every time I write I try to make sure I am creating an image for the reader. Of course, that all depends upon your reasons for writing in the first place. Anyway, I hope you can find something useful in my review. Keep it up!
NH

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on June 1, 2008

Author

Brittney
Brittney

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About
I am 16. gong into 11th grade. i love animals. i have two horses, that i like to ride. Well, I have only been writning for about 3 and a half years. I usually only write to take my stress away. but t.. more..

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