Fallen

A visual poem made for class

To fall
to fall ever so far
no help from gravity
only by the colors in the sky

The sky turns dark tonight
taking another pure day
Elie will be the next fallen
if she wonder’s of the fallen

Pure as day
dark as fallen
here Pitch lies waiting
in the night of day

Elie must be pure
never wonder of the night
or she will fall
fall ever so far

Author's Note

This poem is about the picture kinda..

Reviews

[Briana]

This poem reminds me of another, much longer poem in which a girl falls prey to goblins. (It's a compliment, I swear!) Though I do understand what the poem is saying, I don't know how visual I would call it. I did get an image of a girl standing alone at night, but this was as far as the vision went for me. I think this is a lovely poem with a huge amount of potential, but I would add to it. You've got the subject down, now give us a setting. Give us more to go on.