The Note

Alas another journal entree 😂

Thursday- 7:00am

note #1

The first note Ashley received was the day she first began to drive for the very first time.
the note read: “Get rid of the car or you shall be punished.”Her first thoughts were of her parents planting the note before she got in the car that morning. She had begun to ignore the note then thrown it away when she got to school.

4:10pm

note #2

Leaving school she walked all the way to her car at the far end of the parking lot because she had gotten there a little late that morning.
Ashley gets in the car and freezes, when she sees another piece of paper on the driver seat.
Looking around no other students have gotten near the far end of the lot because she was the first out of the school when the bell had rung.
Glancing back to the note she reads: “I’m warning you Ashley get rid of the car or there will be consequences.” Wide eyed she gets into the car and starts heading home. Heading up the stairs to her home she unlocks the door to see it’s quiet inside the house.
Ashley knows her parents are still at work when she gets home, so she begins working on her homework. Needing a break, she goes to the fridge to find something to eat.

7:00pm

note #3

Opening the fridge she found another note, she frantically calls her parents to say that there has been someone in there house. While dialing on the phone she reads the message. Ashley then stops pressing buttons on the phone and realizes that her parents had written the note because it said: "Don't eat the anything from the bottom shelf it's all bad." Ashley is finally able to breath, she closes the fridge then turns. A quick flash of white light fills her vision, and then nothing but a black abyss.

Ransom note:
‘Give everything you have to me by Monday or you won't have anything left to cherish, meet at the plaza mall at 0800 hours and no police, of course you know how it goes’.

Ashley wakes up to a black opaque bag over her face, and her limbs tied to a chair. Hearing the scraping of chains against the floor she figures that the chair is somehow chained to the wall. A masculine voice finally broke out against the silence, "Well, well, well, look who's finally awake. I thought you'd wake up a little sooner, but I guess I forgot to hold myself back." Ashley couldn't figure out where the voice was coming from. The space she's in ecos everywhere bouncing off every wall. She can't think of anyone to pin the voice to anyone that she already knows. Time goes by, minutes to hours, then a week goes by and the note goes unoticed....Ashley goes back to her house but can never talk to her parents ever again.

Reviews

[Briana]

This story was incredibly confusing... Why would she need to get rid of her car? Why was she kidnapped, and why is the car forgotten about as soon as it happens? Why would her parents not find the ransom note or look for her? Why did they let her go, and why can't she ever speak to her parents again?

There's a great suspense story in this, but it feels like a dozen ideas thrown together without context. I hope this is coming off as constructive, love. I do love the ideas behind this, but it needs a lot of work. I suggest you have your friends and family read over it and offer editing advise. I'd also work to answer the questions the story leaves in the open. Doing so would flesh it out, give it more depth and cohesion. Keep up the great work and never ever stop writing! You've got a talent for this!