So Far Gone 2

Sequel to the lackluster original

I have been out of sight 
Deep inside my own mind
Lost in my thoughts and fears
Divided by self loath and vanity 
Thoughts rankle at every turn
Only misery and I persist

I have been out of mind
Losing bits of sane insight
Found in misery and macabre 
Held together by loosened thread
Words bitten down and trapped
Only anguish and I remain




...


When will this all end
Why does this happen 
Death is all that interests
Suffering is all that comes
I'm too deep in the abyss
My sanity is in shambles
Mental mind is past gone
The screws are loosening 
I think it's far far too late
I am so far gone in the depths

Author's Note

the last verse is optional in this one. Extended piece

Reviews

[Stephanie M]

dark and insightful, full of raw emotion

[Riley Justine]

Gorgeous piece. I love it. Well done, Jack!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you for reviewing it

[child of God]

A interesting read it was a pleasure to read thank you for pending this Wonderful Read :-)
Broken girl

[Ana B.]

I loved the first stanza. A very raw and emotional piece.....great all the same :)

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you, took me a long time to compile this into a sensible piece ha. Thanks again

[NoelHC]

Well written and thought provoking. I agree with Jennie's comments.

[Jennie Baron]

Those first two stanzas parallel each other and fit together perfectly; it's positively brilliant. The last stanza does fit in with the sense of deep depression and despair. If I see any problem, it's that the phrase "mental mind" didn't quite ring true. Otherwise a great read, perceptive and eloquent and very real.

[Jack Kennedy]

I thank you for the review, i will try to find a replacement for mental mind

[Kasey Miriam]

I love the strength and rhythm in this piece. The last verse especially. Very well witten Jack!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the review and i'm glad you stopped by

[Kasey Miriam]

My pleasure. Anytime, I greatly enjoy reading your work