A Place Like This

It's a difficult place when it gets like this

She looks in the mirror with a blade to her wrist

All she ever craves is his long lost kiss

His lost presence is her only wish

Her wants always gets a dismiss

She aims for comfort but always miss

Who's there for her when it gets like this 

It's never an easy place when it gets like this

Her father's death got her to a place like this

So now she only feels peace in a place like this

Her mother has to help her out of a place like this

Blood and misery usually covers a place like this

Suicide seems to be the only way out of a place like this

Reviews

[Jennie Baron]

Overall an outstanding poem. Despair, depression and misery come through. I might make a couple of minor edits but basically this is nicely complete. For one, I suppose the first line should be "It's a difficult place when it gets like this."

Also, you might consider rewriting the fifth line as something like "Her wants and needs are always dismissed."

The next two lines sounded a little odd, maybe because the grammar is nonstandard. Of course I kept wanting it to be "She always aims for comfort but always misses"! But that messes up the rhyme and flow. Not sure exactly how I'd change it unless to say "She always aims for comfort but will always miss." It's up to you and a poet's use of language is his prerogative.

You have also done a good job of repetition to make your words sound powerful. All in all, I'm happy to read some new writing of yours and that you shared it.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you for the decisive review and I will fix the mistakes now.

[Briana O'Connor]

There's a few words that seem to be out of place, but other than that a great expression of the desperation of being trapped in a desolate place within the mind. well penned

[Kasey Miriam]

I agree with Jennie. My opinion for the sixth line would be "she aims for comfort but always misses". Also in the first line the "in" shouldnt be there. I love the last three lines, but they break the flow. I would let those lines stand out and have their own stanza.

one other little tip: read through the poem aloud and make note of where you pause, dont be afraid to add punctuation for pauses and hard stops, it helps the reader.
Love the poem Jack, Keep it up!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you very much for the review and advice! :-) greatly appreciated and welcomed

[Kasey Miriam]

Any time! I try to keep up with a few writers here because I've had limited time

[Moomal Ahmed]

plz comment on my writings too, i would like corrections.

[NoelHC]

A good write, I have to repeat some of the comments Jennie made, my thoughts on this were very similar to hers.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a review! Greatly appreciated

[Moomal Ahmed]

though its nice, what i think is, dont go for my words its just an opinion, what i think is, the last 2 lines are not in proper rhythm.
You may want to edit them

[Jack Kennedy]

I will try to insync them asap! Thank you for the review