I love this, brutally honest.
I can understand the reasoning behind each and every fear.
Reincarnation has always been one of my fears as well, I think I would rather there be nothing to be reincarnated... yet there is that tiny glimmer of hope for a second chance.
I think these are fears that every human experiences throughout their lives. I believe one of the scariest things we all have to go through is our lives not turning out the way we wanted them to are living up to our expectations. Good write!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you for the review! The reincarnation thing to me is very scary for some reason...
Take.. read moreThank you for the review! The reincarnation thing to me is very scary for some reason...
Take Care
I think you just listed the fears that anyone might hold. As for the last line, well, I recently had a discussion on unrequited love and, being a pragmatist, I always thought it was a complete waste of emotion, but the person I was chatting with said that it is one of the purest forms of unconditional love, to love and not receive in return. Interesting how some berate it, as have I in the past. It's all about perspective. I have a suggestion for line six - perhaps rejected instead of unaccepted? This is something different and I liked it. Penny :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I'm glad you liked it. It is always great hearing from you as well, always having something benefici.. read moreI'm glad you liked it. It is always great hearing from you as well, always having something beneficial to say. Awesome! Thanks for the review
Wow. Great write. Fear holds us back. Sometimes you need to punch that fear in the face and show the world what you're made of. This is very easy to relate to! Good job! (:
I think you should keep the two lines "I'm afraid of people closest to me leaving me behind/
I'm afraid of losing the people closest to me." I don't believe they are exactly the same; you can lose the people close to you without their leaving you behind, eh? I agree, though, that the statement in parentheses might go and the words would flow better. Otherwise, this is fantastic and quite intelligent. You do have lofty ambitions--wanting to stand out forever, wanting to be immortalized.:)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks for the advice and review! It is always great to hear from you
It's like you've read my personal diary. Everyone has feared at least one of the things you mentioned at one point in their life.
One nit-pick though: In line 11 were you say "I'm afraid of pain (physically, mentally & emotionally)" I feel that the stuff in the parenthesis ruins the flow of the poem. It would read more powerful if you just put "I'm afraid of pain". Anyway, just a suggestion and overall a great piece.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks for the advice! I will follow it! Thanks also for the review too
This was a very nice poem, and one that anyone can relate to. I did, however, notice a couple things...
In lines seven and eight you wrote: I'm afraid of people closest to me leaving me behind/I'm afraid of losing the people closest to me
Also, in lines fourteen and fifteen: I'm afraid I will never be good enough to stand out forever/I'm afraid I might not ever be immortalized
In both parts, the second line is essentially saying the same thing as the first, only with slightly different wording. Unless this was an intended reiteration, I would suggest reworking these bits.
I agree with lissalovesyou we do all of them fears you did amazing job writing this poem keep up the great work i love reading them i hope to read more
So often that fear comes up and looks us in the eyes and says you can't do it and you are not good enough. I love the moments when we can look that fear in the eyes and tell it where to go and step over the boundary lines he does not want us to cross and continue on in our journey. Thanks for sharing this nice poem!
When you write you thow in all you've got. The effort put in here is 110%. I can tell by the way it was written. This is one of your best! keep it up and send a requst when ever you pst somethiing new. I look forward to seeing more!
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you! I'm glad you can see the dedication! Thanks for all the reviews you've given me! :)
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