"Lost"

I didn't like this one very much but you might

What happened to you

All weak and frail

You were so beautiful

Now you're a tragic tale

I warned you about them

They still consumed you

What a terrible shame that is

What a tremendous pain this is

You waste away on the corners,

As you Fiend for a quick fix

I'm ashamed of you 

I'm ashamed of your problem

But I can't pass judgement

If I was there for you back then 

It would be very different

I can obviously see that,

Needles poison your arms

Addiction rapes your thoughts

It's so sad in every way possible

It's your life so live it how you want

...

Author's Note

Love it or hate it... There is no meter in the poem, not a rhyming poem. Just a poem I guess...

Reviews

[Margo Seuss]

Oh, good, free verse! Now I don't have to blabber on about ryhme patterns and syntax and that boring jargon. Pure emotion is the most beautiful to look at on paper! I love it because I can feel the emotion!! (No matter how hard I try I still feel)! I love this. I can see a friend ranting this poem to their addicted friend in a frenzy of drama! I just have one suggestion to perhaps add to the drama. Perhaps if you put a space before your repetative lines. Like between 'They still consumed..." and "What a terrible shame.." Also, a space before the last line could add just a titch more drama too.

[Jack Kennedy]

Cool idea... Thanks for the advice and review.

[DreamOn2014]

Oh wow. That gave me goose bumps after reading that. Great work Jack.

More than a poem... a thought.. a heartache and a warning... Nice job.. truth is found in reality and many run from it.

[Debbie_Philly]

I think this is a really good piece and I also know how you feel here... I have lost loved ones to drugs myself. You have really expressed yourself well here :)

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the feedback,and I hope this leads you to my other works. Thanks again

[Debbie_Philly]

Your welcome... Im not always on but when I am I will stop by

[Jennie Baron]

It is a profound expression of raw emotion and I come down on the "love it" side. I don't know what to add to the reviews below; they all have worthwhile comments. You show insight perhaps beyond your age. Very nice, and keep writing!

[Decere Tiozon]

Agh . . . the first four lines were beautifully rhymed and paced. If you at least kept the pace, I would have pleasantly enjoyed it more. However, the message is very powerful. It's one of those "how to save a life" moments, if you know what I mean. The person regrets not helping the person, as if they could have done so much more. Yes. This is lovely. A little bit of fixing, here and there.

[Jack Kennedy]

I actually wrote an alternate rhyming version but the meter was off and the rhyming wasn't good so I deleted it but keep the first four lines and made this. Thanks for the review.

[Wynter Ignatius]

I've known a few addicts and while I am a helpful person, they tend to destroy all around them. This is a wonderful way to express your feelings on the issue and make your point clear. And don't worry about the lack of rhyme, form, etc. Some of the best poetry can't be put in any category easily if at all.

[Michael Stevens]

I thought this was an excellent free verser!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the feedback. More is Coming

[Madalyn Beck]

You know, I like this because it tells the story of an addict and how really, they ended up losing control of their lives. It's a great write. You did a good job expressing your feelings here. (:

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review

[melissa]

This is amazing poem keep up the great work i can't wait to read more

[kitty cat]

love it so much, great job