"Lost"

I didn't like this one very much but you might

What happened to you

All weak and frail

You were so beautiful

Now you're a tragic tale

I warned you about them

They still consumed you

What a terrible shame that is

What a tremendous pain this is

You waste away on the corners,

As you Fiend for a quick fix

I'm ashamed of you 

I'm ashamed of your problem

But I can't pass judgement

If I was there for you back then 

It would be very different

I can obviously see that,

Needles poison your arms

Addiction rapes your thoughts

It's so sad in every way possible

It's your life so live it how you want

...

Author's Note

Love it or hate it... There is no meter in the poem, not a rhyming poem. Just a poem I guess...

Reviews

[Margo Seuss]

Oh, good, free verse! Now I don't have to blabber on about ryhme patterns and syntax and that boring jargon. Pure emotion is the most beautiful to look at on paper! I love it because I can feel the emotion!! (No matter how hard I try I still feel)! I love this. I can see a friend ranting this poem to their addicted friend in a frenzy of drama! I just have one suggestion to perhaps add to the drama. Perhaps if you put a space before your repetative lines. Like between 'They still consumed..." and "What a terrible shame.." Also, a space before the last line could add just a titch more drama too.

[Jack Kennedy]

Cool idea... Thanks for the advice and review.

[Michael Phillips]

I wonder? Is this fiction or non fiction? It doesn't matter but it just leaves to wonder how do you come up with such stories (that's if they're not real)?
Very great poem I have to say and its very sad and tragic! A common combination but you do it very well and I hope you stick to what you do best! Glad to review your poems!

[GorgEOus NiGhtMarE]

I can relate this to a few people I know.. not just needles. A few different things. Its quite sad but yet increasingly common. Great write x

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you! Would you like to read the rhyming version of this poem?

[GorgEOus NiGhtMarE]

I'd love to :)

[Jack Kennedy]

Its called "Lost Reprised" and its on my profile! Enjoy and thank you

[GorgEOus NiGhtMarE]

Sweet, Thankyou! and I shall.

[erika]

wow really good. It felt like i was there

[Jack Kennedy]

I'm glad I was able to bring the story to life for you! That's always cool and thanks for the review! :)

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

I liked the new one better

[Jack Kennedy]

I'm glad at least someone liked the new one! The original gets too much attention lol

[999]

I really enjoyed both versions of this poem, two perspectives on the same tale, bonus to get more story!

[Jack Kennedy]

I agree and thanks for the review!

[stars are far]

That was the best poem i read today...it is very amazing..i loved the idea..
Fantastic job done in this

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review! Hope to read more from you soon

[Matilda]

it really did tell a story ... a terrible story with beautiful words. I enjoyed it! great job!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review and I hope this leads you to my other works. Thanks again and Take Care

[Relic]

Addiction takes a hold with fierce force for ones you speak of. It becomes their life and breath. Slowly they deteriorate and for the most part they're aware of it but can do nothing about it. Such a waste of life.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the words and I agree it is a waste of life

[Relic]

You're welcome Jack.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Sometimes we are lost in the dark paths we are taking...but somehow the flicker of light at the end of the tunnel leads us to the right direction.

Nice free verse poem. Something good for reflection.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review and I hope you find your way to my other works.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome.