"Lost"

I didn't like this one very much but you might

What happened to you

All weak and frail

You were so beautiful

Now you're a tragic tale

I warned you about them

They still consumed you

What a terrible shame that is

What a tremendous pain this is

You waste away on the corners,

As you Fiend for a quick fix

I'm ashamed of you 

I'm ashamed of your problem

But I can't pass judgement

If I was there for you back then 

It would be very different

I can obviously see that,

Needles poison your arms

Addiction rapes your thoughts

It's so sad in every way possible

It's your life so live it how you want

...

Author's Note

Love it or hate it... There is no meter in the poem, not a rhyming poem. Just a poem I guess...

Reviews

[Margo Seuss]

Oh, good, free verse! Now I don't have to blabber on about ryhme patterns and syntax and that boring jargon. Pure emotion is the most beautiful to look at on paper! I love it because I can feel the emotion!! (No matter how hard I try I still feel)! I love this. I can see a friend ranting this poem to their addicted friend in a frenzy of drama! I just have one suggestion to perhaps add to the drama. Perhaps if you put a space before your repetative lines. Like between 'They still consumed..." and "What a terrible shame.." Also, a space before the last line could add just a titch more drama too.

[Jack Kennedy]

Cool idea... Thanks for the advice and review.

[IceWinifredd]

Very nice job on this. I like that this describes the unnamed character's shameful fall into addiction. I think you got the horrifying feel of it very vivid for the reader perfectly. Nice job my friend.

[Parimal Pratyush]

Emotions are the core constituents of poetry and this is really 'to the core'.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you! Glad to hear from you and thanks for the review!

[Ranger Kessel]

hey, a nicely written poem. great style and a message

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it

[Emily]

Love this poem! Good job!

[Brook]

"You were so beautiful
Now you're a tragic tale" My favourite line.
Again, a wonderful write.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you again for the reviews and I'm glad you're enjoying them!

[Jay dee]

I like this your right, it's a balance but then no balance the love and hate of it. Strong piece

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review! I hope to hear more from you soon! Thanks again