808s & Heartbreak

Love It or Hate It.

Everything hit me at once

How could I have been such a dunce

I gave you all of my trust 

Now I only think of you in disgust

You were with him that night

You said you felt contrite

A tear comes down my face,

When I rushed out of that place

    

Its so heartbreaking that you did that 

Now I guess you're just another stat

You cheated on me and I can't manage

My heart needs a bandage

Depression seeks in quick

This pain weighs thick

I wasn't use to heartbreak

So now I live with heartache

Author's Note

Didn't go over it just wrote it and put it up!

Reviews

[Wynter Ignatius]

I've been cheated on every time in my three relationships, so I can feel a similar pain to this. We give our trust to another or as the quote goes;

"Love it giving someone the power to destroy you... but trusting them not to." - Unknown

It is unfortunate you dealt with this but times change. They were not right for you not because they cheated so much but rather they failed to respect you and did not take the above quote to heart.

We often trust the wrong people, we all know this, but if we don't trust anyone we can not be loved. It is a delicate balance on the edge of a blade we all endure rather than fall upon the point.

[Jack Kennedy]

Ahh that quote was great and also very original! That ks for the review and the kind words as well. It meant a lot believe it or not! (Ha that rhymed)

[Riley Bray]

Hey! Sorry I haven't been on in a while! I haven't forgotten about my read requests and I'm trying to catch up on them!!! I liked this poem, especially since it's as relatable as it is. Great job!!

Comments:

"My heart needs a bandage"---this line sounds like it's missing a syllable which disrupts the flow a bit

"I wasn't use to heartbreak" ---there should be a d on the use because it's past tense

"So now I live with heartache" ---it sounds like its missing two syllables here, perhaps say this deep heartbreak?

Again, great job and I'll be getting to your other read requests shortly!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank for the review. This is an old poem that i should esit now looking back at it, thanks for the pointers and suggestions as well

[Riley Bray]

Haha yeah sorry like I said I've been out for a long time and I feel it's important to get to the requests even if they're old! Of course, happy to do so!

[Asb]

well this is something everyone one would relate.....written in a fresh way....awesome write :)

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for looking at this one! I forgot about it... Thanks again for the review

[Asb]

All my pleasure

[jane kelley]

I'm not sure exactly how much of a critque you are seeking.. this poem is good.. but there
are a few mistakes, spelling or typos...

[Jack Kennedy]

Only as much as you want to give. Thanks for the reviews and your time! It is very much appreciated! :)

[Jack Kennedy]

nice... emotional and the meaning is pretty clear... My favorite is the first and last verses.

[Jack Kennedy]

thanks for reviewing

[DreamOn2014]

Hi Jack,

Wow, something I can relate to. I was not much into reading poetry, I think you have changed my mind. :) Keep writing and keep sending the reading requests to me. Follow your dreams.

[Bri]

Very nice piece, I like the flow

[Tomás Ó C..]

The joys of life, writing it without revision keeps it real.Thats love my friend... the same if you are 18 or 81! Imagine how Hugh Hefner feels!

[gabrielle]

Hello Jack. I read your mail and this piece interests me. i like the theme that you choose. every one can relate to it as all of us may have already experienced heartbreak. I see that you wanted to keep a good rhyme scheme. to me, however, the tone/mood of the rhyme scheme made the seriousness of the topic lighter. i enjoyed reading this.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks for the review and I hope you find your way to my other works. Take Care

[Honey-Bee]

Expressive poem of heart break! My heart needs a bandage..sad but funny line! I gave you all of my trust, not I only think of you in disgust... Nice poem!