Diverse

Compilation Of Different Poetry styles I wrote in with various different subjects.

"Acrostic Poem"

Breath of love's air you are

All I will ever want is you 

Into my heart you belong 

Loving you with my heart

Eternity with you I will spend

You and me will be how it all ends

"Rondelet Poem"

Such loneliness

Rears its head around my way,

Such loneliness

Grabs me by my throat;

It's grip tightens by the second

A resistance I would of reckoned

But It consumes me whole

Such loneliness

"Septolet Style Poem"

Maniac

Stalking women

In the distance,

Waiting

Woman

Passing by

Non noticing

Of Him

"Another Septolet Poem"

Heart

Beats for you

And You only 

Soul

Is only yours

And yours only 

"Shape Style Poetry"

      Sorry for what I have done to you.

   O..Only you can forgive me.

  R... Real love could surpass this.

 R..     Rest your heart on mine again.

Y....     You won't ever have to worry.

"Tetractys Style Poem"

Tired 

Of you

All the lies 

The other men

I'm done with you for good this time

"Haiku Style Poem".                                      

Crazy beautiful 

You are to me and the world 

Soul so rich and pure

"Another Haiku Poem"

You're Polarizing

You're Always confusing me

That's why I love you

Author's Note

I hope how these are structured does not confuse you!!! If it does I'm SORRY!!!

Reviews

[BlackRose]

The last two are Senryu style. These are more so about human nature and society. Haiku style are more about seasons or nature, dealing with either of these in anyway. Examples,

1. The leaves of Autumn
lovely gold and brown colors
painting the landscape

2. My piece is called, What Becomes Of A Weathered Haiku. You can read it if you want.

I think it''s alot easier to write a senryu than hiaku, it's more freer in that you can write about anything as long as it's the 5 7 5 syllable rule each line. I have quite a few of the senryu pieces if you want to read those too. You'll know by it having the name in the title fully or some part of the word there or joined with another word.

In the first poem, acrostic, the line, Into my heart you belong. You could say since heart is already there below it, use 'world' instead to change it up a bit without using the same word twice. In certain cases depending on what it's about, what you're conveying or your writing can you or is ok use a word like that more than once. As long as you try to captivate the reader. But thought here you could do without it repeating.

The forth, Shape Style Poetry it is not and is more of an Acrostic poem (I get what you were trying to do though and is a another great piece). Would be instead of the repeating letters as this,

Sorry for what I have done to you.
Only you can forgive me.
Real love could surpass this.
Rest your heart on mine again.
You won't ever have to worry.

Shape style poetry or Shape poems starts with the O by itself, then describes what your talking about, can rhyme and other such ways and as far as I have seen are not too too long as this example,

(my own thought up quick)

O
Nuts are for eating
squirrels eat them all the time
how scrumptious to the taste
I can never get enough of them
they are my favorite to eat

Roundelet is spelled as Rondelet. It's french and you did a great job with it, written the right way.

And lastly the septolet, I would change this, And yours only, to something else. It needs that break and this doesn't being the exact as the top. Otherwise both fab pieces.

I hope this helps you in the future. Sorry I wrote so long here. Otherwise these are all WONDERFUL pieces. :o)

And don't worry about confusion and all. That's the best part about writing is you can be free in your writes as long as someone can at least understand it mostly or all, be relative, relate to it and so forth. Or you follow certain guidelines as the ones above or others not stated written in your own way.

[Frontier]

I like how the acrostic poem sounds like Yoda-speak and the line "Into my heart you belong" I truly like it, because it is deeper than the commonly said "In my heart" it is less possessive and more authentic....INTO my heart, wow.

My favorite is the last another haiku poem...too true!

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank You very much for the review! I hope to hear from you again soon :)

[melissa]

You did a great job writing this poem i hope to read more keep up the great work i love reading them

[Jennie Baron]

Hmm, grouping poems about love, loneliness, horror, bitterness all together? I like each one and they show an intelligent knack for expression, but as pointed out below, I agree that they should have some strong connection or be presented as separate poems. Otherwise, I won't reiterate what the other reviewers have said. They've given you a lot of advice to digest, some of which is valid, and it's up to you to take or leave it. However, you may not realize it but your poems are showing a lot of growth.

[daemok]

It's good, the first paragraph has 'you' in every line which is a bit of a cringe, but otherwise pretty nice.

[LawrenceRaybon]

Almost everything I want to say has been touched on in other reviews so I'm not going to repeat. The only thing I saw that I didn't see mentioned is the at the Tetractys should have ten syllables on the last line, it would be 1,2,3,4,10 because 1-4 put together equal 10. Overall they were enjoyable and well written.

Cheers,
Lawrence

Constructive Critic Group

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are
absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I
think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better
writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my
opinions/advice!***

[Emma Olsen]

"It's grip" Its, it's is a contraction for it is, its is possessive.
"A resistance I would of reckoned" Would HAVE. Watch out for this one, I see this mistake made constantly. Would have is a verb form, 'of' should only follow would if it's in a phrase like 'of course.'
"Non noticing" Should be non-noticing, but the whole phrasing of it is a bit awkward. It caught me up so I was repeating it, trying to figure out why it sounded strange. Maybe make it into something like: "Woman/Passing by/Not noticing/His gaze.' (By the way, any reason why all the lines are capitalized?)

Alright, so I'm getting the sense that what's uniting these is a general love, one that's kinda all over the place, but because it's all over the place I'm not getting a sense of unity. I'm only really sensing that it might be about one person because of the end poem. Combining all these poems is fine, but I kind of want some sense that there's some greater significance other than you being able to do all of them . . . I think titling them with their form is too distracting. Use your titles efficiently! I don't need to know what form of poem it is (in my experience, the publishing world doesn't seem to care all that much what form your poem is, they just like that it sounds pretty and makes them feel something), I'm more interested in how that poem fits into the greater scheme of the cluster. Giving the reader some clues may help us out because I'm not quite sure if the relationship's been properly defined for me or I have a clear sense of what the girl is like. I'm assuming this is one of those 'when it's good it's wonderful, when it's bad it's hell' relationships by the end, but since I'm not walking into this knowing what it's about right away it's just confusing.

I think a huge thing for you is your word variation, as I said in my last critique. Generally my rule for repetition is that the word should be repeated more than twice, otherwise it sounds like a mistake. Additionally, repeating clauses is usually the most effective way to use this device. You do this effectively in the rondelet (and have a nice twist on it in the second septolet), but not in the acrostic. As your opening poem, the acrostic should be one of your strongest. Think of it as a first sentence in a novel: you need to draw the reader in and keep them going. I think you also encounter this problem with the pronoun 'you.' It's everywhere! While it's fine to insert occasionally, it might be better to either invent creative ways to avoid saying you (maybe give the 'you' a name or a title like 'lover' or 'dear' or something) or just avoid using the word entirely and find ways to convey the same meaning. When these poems allow you only so many words, you need to make sure every word counts. Use them to point out some unique thing the 'you' does, some way she (I'm assuming) is crazy and beautiful. Tell us what the fights are about, why the speaker keeps coming back. 'Love' is such a huge word to our culture, encompassing so many different types of companionship. One of my teachers liked to tell us about Greek culture and how they had multiple words for love - romantic love, friendship, familial love, etc. Even within these definitions I think there are variances. With past love interests I've been all over the place emotionally - hating them, loving them, just confused - but with my current boyfriend I'd say our love is more like a drum beat: constant and unwavering. Think of how to describe this love in a way that's fresh, new, and unifies all these disparate pieces so that it's easy to tell they're all supposed to fit together. You can do this in the titles (rollercoaster is an overused trope for this type of relationship, but, for instance: Our Car Climbs the Hill, We Plummet to the Ground, Trying to Maintain my Grip, etc.) Just make sure the reader understands how the relationship stands in each poem and how it progresses. Since you've grouped them together, I want them to have some reason to be grouped, you know? I feel as though they should be telling some clear story. I think you're trying to use the poems to show how all over the place this relationship is, but it needs to be clear that each poem is talking about the same relationship, the same speaker, the same woman.
I'm hoping I'm not misreading, but if I am, try to adopt some of these suggestions, anyways, to work towards a more unified approach.

I think it might benefit you to do some research on poetic devices. Clearly you use a lot of different forms, but all I really see here is some personification and a metaphor (by the way, the rondelet is using the personification really effectively. I like that one a lot.) Similes, synechdoche, assonance, alliteration, etc. etc. Poetic forms can help you craft a good poem based on a good formula, but devices can help you craft a better poem within the form and even allow you to effectively break out of forms completely.
I wish I had my teacher's guide, still, from a few years ago, but here's one that's similar: http://www.chaparralpoets.org/devices.pdf

[The Outsider]

Very well written and structered man, nice job

[Heather]

this is good! I think it's great that you tried this sort of structure to get a "feel" for it and it is such a daring choice, but you managed to pull it off! Some extremely beautiful writing here, i enjoyed this. Great job! I hope you have an amazing day! :)

[maria ( rose)]

answering your note/not at all..I like Diversity, it shows character.
I really enjoyed the "Shape Style Poetry" very unique .
Very good Jack!!~~ I look forward to reading more.

[just Penny]

Aww now you're just showing off lol :) You have written some interesting pieces in the different forms here, but I think my fav is the shape poem. Impressive my friend :)