Really Be (Drinking)

Not my feelings just FICTION

Drinking down another glass

More opportunities pass

More aspirations dash

Thoughts moving fast

I thought this binge wouldn't last

Everyday I get drunk off my a*s

Now I'm driving praying I crash

Why did you have to leave?

All I ask for were the keys,

Keys to your heart

I've fallen for you from the start

Now you left me so cold

For you back I'd sell my soul

Swerving back and forth

How can I make myself feel worse

I might hit a person with no remorse

No, I can't I'll just drive off this bridge

Awaiting that fall and that last ride in the hearse

Author's Note

Think I should add to it or take away that last hearse rhyme?

Reviews

[Micheal Firth]

Truth be told I believe you have two completely separate poems here. Everything makes sense up until the line:

"Now I'm driving praying I crash"

At which point your rhyming methods fluctuate to rapidly and it switches into more of a free verse. In some cases this is acceptable, but in most its just a way to lose the reader. Put more focus on a changing verse then follow through with that scheme. For example:

"Why did you have to leave?
ask and ye shall receive,
etc. etc. etc. believe"

Well you get the idea, it's always better to flow your rhymes together in a more natural yet still symmetrical way.

[Jack Kennedy]

Other than that did you like it? And I have more works so enjoy!!!

[Kasey Miriam]

I'm glad I am not the only one that felt that way.

[Kasey Miriam]

Is there a rhyme shceme here?

[Jack Kennedy]

I guess did you like it

[Kasey Miriam]

I enjoyed the story of this poem but the rhyme shceme threw me of because it goes:
A
Aread moreI enjoyed the story of this poem but the rhyme shceme threw me of because it goes:
A
A
B
C
C
A
B
D
E
F
F
G
H
I
J
J (kinda)
K
And ending with either L or J
So that really threw me off, but its a good stroy

[Stew]

10/10 best poem evar I loooooooooooooopve it

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you Shane. thanks for being a friend in 12th grade too

[Saddam]

I've falling for you from the start
Now you left me so cold
For you back I'd sell my soul
Swerving back and forth
How can I make myself feel worse.

Well deserved poem. Just Love your story. Fabulous.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks this means so much. Reviews and feedback help me write better in my opinion.