Seduction

This is a departure from The Horror works I've been putting out recently

Seduction 

Slow moving 

Strip teasing 

Pleasure pleasing 

You make it look easy 

Hyper sexual but not sleazy 

Crawl over saying squeeze me 

Your body screaming seize me 

More desires are creeping 

No time for sleeping 

Silky hair in the air 

Our Souls so bare 

Deep thoughts and stares 

Seduction

Reviews

[Generic Author]

Awesome.

I love how the poem began and ended at the same place.

The whole form is seduction: it draws you in with a word, build you up, climaxes, and slowly falls right back to where it began. No progress but passion. Snake eating itself (pun intended).

Keep it up! Great work.

[BlackRose]

No critiques here but do agree with Eric P., sexed would sound better than the word sexual. It would flow better with that instead. Phenomenal otherwise. Love this short powerful piece, rhyme working well here. You're a GREAT writer. :o)

[lovejulez03]

I very much enjoyed this! It was short and sweet but far from simple or boring. You made your point... you brought physical energy to the piece that clearly matches the title. Well job :)

[maria ( rose)]

I rate it a 10 ! seductive,, rhythmic,,I think it is very well written!!
-maria rose

[Coyote Poetry]

Good description of stripping and seduction. Both can be a skill needed to be seen and done. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the strong ending. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jack Kennedy]

Thank you for the review and words, no matter how old they are still helpful and much needed to this very day

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and you are welcome.

[abluehorseandflowers]

Well written with a nice rhythmic quality and good word choice.

[Wynter Ignatius]

Quite simple piece that paints a picture of desire, wanting and needing that few are willing to express so openly. Your play with words is a craft you should continue with as you do it with a ease few can find.

Kudos and thanks for sharing.

[Kasey Miriam]

I like this but your poems hit me as rap music..

[Jack Kennedy]

I pray that's not the case now, i like rap music but eh not the world i want to venture in haha.

[Eric Pudalov]

Very seductive, actually. I like this one, Jack. I hate to say I was a *little* skeptical from the way you shoved the friend requests in my face (no offense), but you've followed through nicely here.

You have a very good sense of rhyme, and it's a sexy work too. I also like that it's not too lengthy (as some spoken word pieces tend to be).

The only line that you might want to play around with (no pun intended) is the "Hyper sexual but not sleazy" one. It's good, but it throws off the rhythm a little. Maybe something like "Hyper-sexed" instead of "hyper sexual" would work. Have you read this one out loud to yourself? Do that, and see how it sounds to you.

Good job overall!

[Jack Kennedy]

I'm so sorry for being over bearing early on in my time here on this site.

[Jack Kennedy]

Kanye West 1st Verse on the song "I'm In It" Inspired this!!! If you listen to the song its a reminesent of the flow he used!!! #YEEZUS

[John]

Layout and movement perfectly in sync with the subject. Oh, I'd say an eight, at least.

[Jack Kennedy]

Thanks I recommend my other works for better... In my honest opinion !!!