Another Me

A short comedic reflection into an encounter between a middle-aged man and his younger self.

ANOTHER ME 

The women in this market would always be men, so being a man was nothing to feel superior about. They pushed him away from their veranda and continued with their customer's hair. Certainly, they were not interested in whatever he tried to sell to them. After watching the not-so-little drama play out completely, I walked up to him. Or me, since he is a younger version. He googled straight into my eyes, and there was a weird connection, so I looked away instantly. Did he know it was he who stood before him?  

"Sir please shift and stop staring at me like that. It's weird" 

As soon as he said those words, I knew my cover was still intact. That's exactly what I'd say if a stranger walked up to me and acted weird.  He walked past me and did not even look back. Then I started to appreciate how rude he had just been. The young man dismissed me, a stranger, without caring what I had to say. If my mission here is to make him listen to my takes on his finances, then I was in for a long ride. 

While I wondered how he was able to walk with that load of hair products under this scorching sun, I found a shade for myself and watched him from a distance. He went into a second and third shop that day and was faced with just as much rejection as he got at the first. All he cared about was getting someone to buy his product, and if I knew my young self, this would be enough to get his attention. 

"Hair  growth!" 

I called on him from under the shade and he hurriedly turned and started to run towards me. As soon as he came close enough to recognize my face, he stopped abruptly, hissed, and started to walk away. 

"Hey, wait. Na just hair product I want" 

I had just remembered how receptive I was to pidgin as a young man, so I threw it in to get his attention. 

"So why you dey look me for eye before. Abi na because that woman pursue me?" 

He thought I had walked up to mock him earlier on, and I already started to see a few reasons why my businesses never had a breakthrough. I know better now. 

He reluctantly accepted the bottle of soda I offered, while I perused his goods, pretending to be in search of something.  

"These products look good. But don't you think the containers are a bit rusty".  

Trying hard to be as passive as possible, I continued with the small talk. 

"Maybe you should invest more in packaging" 

And that was all the young man could take from one person. He picked up the products and started to leave when I beckoned on him. 

"Oya wait. If I prove to you that I'm right, you give me one free product. But if I can't prove it, I'll buy all your products from you" 

That was a bait the younger me would never refuse. I immediately walked away, while he stood there thinking about the offer. And as easily as I expected, he called out to me and took it.  

"One more thing. I'll need you to hand over every penny on you". 

His forehead immediately contoured in disbelief, so I maintained a serious look, and that somehow convinced him.  

As we walked to a nearby shop, I asked him how much he spent on packaging his products, and his response was as expected.  

"Oga na packaging dem go rub for head?" 

We immediately burst into laughter. It felt good connecting to another me. Listening to my sense of humor, made me proud. So I asked him another question 

"Why did you believe me when I said that I'll buy all your products if I lost". 

He looked puzzled for a second as if he just realized that I may be a scam. Then he spoke. 

"Oga see your wrist watch na. Abi no be you get that expensive chain for neck". 

Again, his speech mannerisms were a delight to listen to.  

"Then you agree that my packaging made you trust me". 

He took a quick halt and stared into my eyes. Without being told, I knew that the young man had agreed with me on this one. He kept quiet as we continued to walk, while I clamped on this trust he had bestowed on me, to talk some sense into him. 

"If you don't spend enough money on packaging your products, then everything spent on the product itself is wasted". 

We arrived at a mini supermarket, where I purchased two fancy bottles. He quickly jolted my arm with his elbow as soon as he saw the price of the bottles. As we left the shop, he continued to grumble, so I dragged him to a corner and spoke a bit harshly. 

"Young man, the content is only as good as the bottle!". 

At this point, I was getting fed up with his shallow mind. But there was no going back now. He looked bullied and I immediately remembered that even if he was to me a younger version of myself. I was nothing more than a stranger to him. So I tried to apologize, and persuade him to trust me.  

"Remember, I'll buy all your products if you are right" 

He gave me a blank stare and asked a very important question. 

"so who will judge the matter? How will I know that you will ever be wrong?" 

His use of English was impressive, and that usually meant that I was getting serious. 

I walked up to a young lady a few meters away and showed the product to her. In a short while she bought it for almost double the actual price. The young me watched in amazement as the lady thanked me and walked away. To prove my point, I went to the first shop where he had earlier been rejected and sold the other bottle of his hair product. The same one they had rejected. He walked up to me and gave me the same weird look he complained about initially, so I seized the opportunity and fed his own words back to him 

"Young man please shift and stop staring at me like that. It's weird". 

We had a good round of laughter before I handed his money and profit back to him. 

"But you'll give me your wristwatch and fancy shirt. You know that's why they bought the product from you" 

I smiled and nodded. Finally, someone was learning the power of packaging in business. 

Author's Note

How did this read make you feel?