A Healing Hypocrite

A broken and homeless woman travels from place to place to spread the word of healing.

What message would you dedicate your life to spreading, they said. I answered, "talk less and pay more attention". They didn't like that. The gurus of this world love to talk. They make their lifestyles from talking, so they must keep the words flowing.

But they only offer a temporary solution. That's why there are always more videos, books and seminars, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade, until they are dead. Then someone else picks up their work and talks just as much as they did. That's why they are all phonies.

I've lived on this earth for many years. I went through childhood trauma, bad boyfriends, backstabbing friends, jealous co-workers, abusive husbands, and ungrateful kids. I self-harmed with alcohol, medicine, food, makeup, surgery, money, sex, and exercise. I got to my breaking point. Then I volunteered to be homeless.

Like most people, it was my goal to find meaning so I wouldn't drown myself or slit my wrists. I needed a reason to keep going. All my life, I thought that reason had to be tied to other people. But the one person I forgot was myself.

Homelessness helped me see how I really viewed myself. How we view and treat ourselves is everything. I've always treated myself like s**t, and that's why life has dealt me a s****y hand. That's why I'm a poor homeless woman. So now, I walk from neighborhood to neighborhood to share the ultimate truth that doesn't require hour-long lectures and multiple books.You can only be better for others if you first are better for yourself. 

If you aren't going to be better for yourself, stop wasting your body's time as it works endlessly to keep you alive minute after minute.

And with that said, I exit the world. Because I'm not going to be better for myself, and a healer shouldn't be a hypocrite.

© Eden Dawson, 2022

Author's Note

feedback appreciated

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Powerful message and written beautifully.

Winston