A Step-Sister's Narrative

It was then I realized that we would never truly be a family. There would always be two sides, The joseph and the white team. I didn't really have pharaoh or Gia as siblings. They were nothing more than housemates. Which is strange considering Ive always valued pharaoh as my brother. But blood is thicker than water, it really is. And when your blood connects you as one strong line, there is an invisible bond that will never go away.
I don't really have a sister, I never did. I always wished it, but nothing ever happened. God didn't bless me with a loving little sister. He blessed me with a giant obstacle that tests my sanity and moral values to the point where I can't even talk about it. It's not the fact that I hated Gia. It's the fact that she never felt any love towards me. She would let me fall and wouldn't even pay attention to hear my scream. She's a very simple minded person. Never really good with books. Never could think about concepts other than the Blatant surface. But she was a complicated person. One who had dark layers about her that scared everyone on some level of consciousness. Even our parents. How could someone be repremanded when they have so much power over their own maker? Spiraling out of control would never be an option for her because that would leave room for vulnerablity, and when there's vulnerability, then someone can rush in and try to save her. There would be an upper handedness that would never disappear. A kind of "I saved you from drowning, you have to trust me" factor. What will happen, I cannot say. All that I know is the loathing I have for this marital sister is eating me alive. Because I am an unstable person, I have to check myself. This leaves room for never ending mental conversations. All I've noticed is that I continually despise this individual without wanting to. I know the reasons, but for every instance I've started to let go there is a pause and then I hate again with out realizing. I hate her because she won't love me, because I've been nice and pleasant and have seen no progress. Not caring anymore about her is fine until someone brings up the subject of my sister. Then the hate just grows hot from my belly to my throat, and ugly words flow from my mouth. I can't stop them because of the truth of the matter. I know deep down that she hates me, and it hurts so much I have to hate her back to not feel the pain anymore.I'm

Author's Note

I have a lot of grammar/syntax errors, I know. This was added from my iPhone so it's kind of sloppy.