Sundress

This is a poem that I think will hit home for many woman and men who have struggled with their self-worth while in a romantic relationship.

Her sundress is for him.
It’s ditzy and daffodil yellow,
And soft breezes ruffle the hem up to her hips,
On sunny summer days.

He likes her in sundresses.
Slight and delicate,
Dainty straps tied in gentle bows atop her,
Shoulders that are easy to pull away.

She craves his gaze,
That she earns in the dress,
And pretends not to know why he stares while,
It fills her with shame.

He’ll never know her voice,
He just spins her around his finger,
While she puts on the mask of a simple girl,
With nothing to say.

She thinks she’s his love,
And that love must be bought,
So she abandons herself thinking it is the price,
She must pay.

Author's Note

Love the beginning but I think towards the end it starts to lose its flow. Let me know if you agree and if you have any suggestions for revision. Thanks!!

Reviews

[Aila]

I think that the ending is just as good, it resonated with me the most! This is a feeling I know all too well, and I love your use of the sundress as the key character in the poem. The color yellow comes to mind, but in a melancholic way for me. You paint a beautiful picture with your words.
Sincerely,
Aila

[Vol]

Eden.
Well, you nailed the sundress thing. I have nothing to add.
I'm 75 years old, and a retired creative writing teacher,

"She thinks she’s his love,
And that love must be bought,
So she abandons herself thinking it is the price,
She must pay."

You nailed the girl thing too... when I was a high school senior, everyone knew the truth in your last stanza, not so much anymore.
Vol

[Tumi]

this poem almost similar with what i experienced before
a nice poem